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Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#79

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For me, the most "baby-like adult diaper" I can get my hands on "locally" is the TRANQUILITY ATN Brand. Only place to purchase them is at the Colonial Medical Supply Store in Nashua, NH. I only use them at night and nap times. The rest of the time I use Walgreen's Pharmacy CERTAINTY diapers or Rite-Aid "Fitted Briefs". Why the hell do they call adult-sized diapers "FITTED BRIEFS". DARN! For crying out loud, they are a "diaper", irrespective of "physical size.

Anyway, I feel happiest at my "daily" Baby-Time, secure between my side safety rails, hugging "La-La" Lamb plush friend. When I am "regressed" to babyhood every night at bedtime and at my naptimes, I get into a very "childlike" mindset. I "shut-out" adult thoughts and feelings, and I hyper-focus on long buried "simple" cognitive thoughts and feelings. In "Baby Mode" I can not speak, and only make soft little grunts. I clutch "La-La" Lamb, and my mind only concentrates on his "tactile" feel in my hands, and on my skin on my tummy. As I lie flat on my back, my Cerebral Palsy affected legs spastically "lock" into thighs splayed-apart, knees locked, and I end-up falling asleep and waking up hours later in the night, experiencing neuromuscular spasticity pain. It of course does not matter what physical position I fall asleep in. With spastic diplegia type Cerebral Palsy, "no leg position is comfortable for any length of time".

Anyway, it is late night, and it will be another 90 minutes before I get to bed.

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