One year 24/7
by, 13-Apr-2014 at 19:28 (643 Views)
So, it's mid-April, and although I do not actually know the precise date I know that it was just about a year ago that I found myself completely and (apparently irrevocably) incontinent.
At first, it was a recurrence of something that had happened for about a month in late December/January, when I had dealt with it by going through about a half million packages of those Depends things that they advertise--you know, the ones that disappear under your clothing and they had like actresses walk down the red carpet when they first came out? They worked fine, but only for one wetting and then I had to change, which was a pain in the butt in midwinter for a pull-up item. Anyway, after a month or so, the problem went away and I was like: whew! what the hell was that? And I got back to my regularly scheduled life.
Until, that is, right around spring break. That's when stuff started going bonkers. I had a few accidents in school in the couple of weeks after we returned: minor ones at first and then really bad ones that I needed to put my long jacket on to cover up. I woke up wet several times. I bought some more of those Depends things and started wearing them again, but there came one day at school when they just could not keep up with me: I was wetting so much! I was terrified; I did not know what was happening to me, but I knew I needed something more, so I began doing online research. I ended up with about a dozen sample packs from a dozen different places: plenty of diapers, lots of kinds. And I began wearing them all the time.
I don't remember all of the kinds I tried as I was experimenting. I remember buying a package of ATNs, but it was not enough. I ended up with Abena 4s and Tena Slip Maxis. And I ended up crying a lot: it was hard to deal with the fact that I could not hold anything. I was wetting two or three times an hour! By summer, though, that had settled down into a somewhat more manageable ten or twelve times a day, and I was able to go on a long-scheduled European (yes, I heard the verbal pun in my mind) trip with my daughters. When I got back in July, I saw a urologist for the first time--I had seen my regular doc in May--and joined here. And as time has gone on I have become accustomed to things.
I know it helps me that I have had AB tendencies all of my life. Still, being IC is not something I would prefer. OTOH it isn't cancer or anything. Things could be a hell of a lot worse. And as I sit here in a Dry 24/7, I feel oddly...content...about things.