by, 24-Mar-2014 at 23:53 (592 Views)
I almost feel as though I'm wasting my time posting this blog and although I probably wouldn't believe it ether (when you've been around as long as I have, then you've heard just about everything), I just wanted to share this.
So, last month, I had an "adult baby" birthday party and invited the co-workers and friends who "know" about me. A friend who used to work for me and his wife were among those in attendance with us that day. He's a pretty open-minded guy and his wife on the other hand, couldn't get enough of anything and everything I showed during the party (I'll post about the party if you guys want me to).
Anyway, long story short, I was on Facebook private chat with the two of them and the conversation came up about me having caretakers in the past, more specifically, my best friend and former mommy. My friend was joking around (or at least I thought at the time), that he and his wife would take me on as my parents and I laughed it off like, "don't do that man, you'd get my hopes up playing around like that" and he said he was dead serious.
Fast forward to this past Saturday night, my friend and his wife finally found a babysitter for their kids so they could have a night out together. We talked, joked and played video games for the most part, but they knew I wanted to have the conversation about how our relationship would work. Little did I know, I wasted two hours playing video games because I was too shy to bring it up. Finally, I bit the bullet and came out with it.
The conversation was awkward at best because being an AB and knowing what you want is one thing; trying to explain it to a couple in which to build a relationship face to face is a completely different story. Finally, when I felt I sounded stupid enough trying to convey how we should work our relationship lol, I finally told them, it's probably best if we just try a few things and work from there.
I choose "mommy" to put me in a diaper because "daddy" blatantly said he doesn't even change his own kid's diapers (lol, fair enough). She did an "OK" job, but for someone diapering an adult sized baby for the first time, I didn't want to play "back seat driver" on her, you know? Anyway, after she got me dressed in my camo union suit, I picked daddy to cradle me in his lap and feed me a bottle.
Afterwards, we had a conversation about the whole thing and it went rather well. "Mommy" showed me a lot of attention by talking to me the way she'd talk to her own kids when they were babies and even played "this little piggy" with my toes.
I don't know how to explain the feeling I got from all this other than a lot of mixed emotions on top of being extremely shy. I will say, trying to get over having your best friends as your parents and being so "intimate" with them, while getting into my infantile head space was not an easy task to say the least. I wish I could share the pictures with you all because I know it sounds like a pipe dream. When we all talked, I told them that to have a mommy or daddy was a blessing, but to have "parents", is unheard of and they flat out laughed at me like, what's the big deal!? I told them, you'd have to be apart of the community a few years to fully understand our mentality.
I guess considering how much crap I've gone through in life, health, financials and everything in between, God really blessed me in the one thing that brings me the most joy.
Honestly, I just wish there was a way that I could share this good fortune with others who are just as depressed as I used to be about not being able to have someone to call my own.
One thing I will say, for someone who if it wasn't for bad luck, wouldn't have any luck at all, I took a risk with close friends and co-workers by going as far as I did. Not to say, someday this couldn't come back to bite me in the behind and to that I say, I knew the risks when I put myself out there and if it does, then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.