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caitianx

Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#68

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This afternoon I was naughty. I read a picture book written for Elementary School aged children called "What's the Big Secret: Talking About Sex for Boys and Girls", illustrated by Marc Brown, the creator of Arthur Aardvark, and written by his wife, Laurie Brown, Ed.D. I feel very "ashamed and dirty" as a developmentally disabled adult with Autism and Cerebral Palsy. This children's picture book shows why a boy body is different from a girl body and how they go pee-pee differently. It also tells where babies "really come from", plus about the difference between good touching and evil bad touching. This children's picture story book also said what touching myself where pee-pee comes from on my body is called and to only do it totally alone by myself where nobody can ever see me in my bedroom with the door and window shades closed.

I am profoundly ashamed.

I am a Baby and I am not supposed to know stuff about my own body.

I will go to Hell where all the terrible bad people have to live after they dia.

I not want to know about bad word called "sex".

Feeling internally angry/hate feelings against myself.

I am awful bad boy to ask simple questions about my body and look up and read this particular children's book about "growing up".

Not want to have the special body parts inside my diaper anymore as punishment for learning about my body and very bad word called "sex".
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