Thank heavens for nappies... possibly TMI for non-messers!
by, 14-Feb-2014 at 16:26 (319 Views)
I am not sure whether I like this or not. A few weeks ago, while my body was adjusting to a lighter diet, I got rather backed up and went for nearly a week without a BM. When it eventually happened, it was the best fun I've had for ages. I've recently enjoyed a repeat performance and although only the backup only lasted for three days, the results were the same - a deliciously satisfying bulky mess that felt like it would never end, totally filling the seat of my nappy beyond all reasonable limits. Except that this time, it happened while I was in the middle of the shopping mall.
Walking back to the office from a restaurant, my bottom gave about 3 seconds warning after which there was little I could do other than stand, hands on hips, staring into space as the story unfolded inside my jeans. My bladder suddenly started emptying at the same time, creating a sensation like that of being wrapped in a hot towel as the whole nappy area was raised to body temperature by the torrent of fresh liquid and solid waste. Such was the relief that I neither knew nor cared if anyone noticed; not my usual level of discretion but for all practical purposes it was an emergency. I can normally walk while I mess but this was too intense, I was rooted to the spot until I had finished, after which the walk to the restroom was quite a unique experience.
Cleanup was 'interesting', requiring the entire stock of wipes in my changing bag. When I had a really full nappy the other week, I changed at home and cleaned up on the bidet, so it wasn't much harder than changing an ordinary dirty one. This time, it must have taken ten stinky minutes to get myself all clean and fresh, although I'll spare you the details! Having clogged the toilet last time trying to flush so much solid mess in one go, I planned to tear the liner down the middle and flush half at a time. Unfortunately, while taking the nappy off in the confines of the mall bathroom stall, the whole lot fell out into the toilet in one huge lump. Again I'll spare you the details but I did eventually get it all to go down before leaving the stall.
What would I have done without the nappy... Messed in my clothes? Had really horrible crampy pain as I desperately tried to hold it in on the way to the bathroom? Two days have since gone by without a BM, so it's probably going to happen again. Perhaps this is the future for my BMs - lots of wet-only nappies followed by a national-scale waste management emergency. I drink plenty of water and eat lots of fruit etc. so I'm not doing anything to encourage constipation. OTOH, the sensation is totally worth it.
BTW, 24/7 still rocks!