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First I guess

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Well here's to my first blog.

It has truly been a while, and not for lack of trying, different things have shifted in my life, almost all at once since last October, and it is taking a hell of a lot longer to get back to a semi-average pattern. I know I haven't posted or commented on anything for the longest time either, and for that I can honestly apologize, I know I forgive myself for it because of the shift in the way my life is laid out.

You see, around the end of September last year, I graduated from college, and that was something I was, and still am, very proud of myself for. Yet I could not celebrate for long, and I have in essence held off on such, because a few days later me and my mother had to go up north, to where most of the family was gathering, to see my grandmother one last time while she was still able to remember us. A month later she passed away...

Now I did go to the funeral, and it wasn't too hard to come to grips with what happened, but what I received when I arrived back up north after that month of, in essence, waiting for her to pass, that ripped into my core. My grandmother had gotten my aunt to write a letter for me, and she(my grandmother) signed it herself, albeit messily, as the tumors in her brain and body were already in full effect. She had Melanoma, a very aggressive and lethal skin cancer.

Such began the months of November and December, a couple months that are still painful, and now even more-so due to her passing. Those months were also around the length of time I had met someone who, although wasn't my girlfriend, we instantly had a connection, and she became, for lack of a better title, my big, my "mommy". Well after some time, and a few disagreements, things came to a head when I freaked out over assuming she was simply playing my heart, toying with my emotions, like I was her puppet. Needless to say we have only seen each other once or twice since, and honestly, as much as I miss her sometimes, she will NEVER gain that trust from me again, because in my eyes she doesn't understand me.

Fast-forward to today, me writing this blog entry, and things are consistently shifting, this time in a favor I choose. I am moving from central New Brunswick, to a base near Toronto, Ontario. This means that not only will I have more job opportunities in my field of study, but I also have a better chance of meeting some more littles face to face, which I am really pumped for.

I am sorry for spewing all of this stuff out on a blog, but in order to explain, and get to the good news, I figured bad news was the issue I should first address.

Until next time! ^-^


  1. Marka's Avatar
    I am sorry for your distress and troubles, ParanoidAsylum!

    Good news about your opportunities now though... May you find what you're looking for!

  2. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    I'm glad your new situation now seems great, and you are excited about the future! Don't lose your enthusiasm! - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.