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54north

I was terrified of the dark.

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Mostly due in part to my imagination and affection for watching scary movies. Critters kept me awake for a week. But having my sister there with me seemed to make the night bearable. I was six, she was seven. Our bedrooms were adjacent and had a small closet door that led to each one. So of course we made secret journeys to each room during the night. Funny how everything is bigger when you're a child, that 2 foot crawl space between our rooms must of seemed like an adventure in itself. My sister knew I was scared of the dark and would spend the odd night with me. She was bigger and older than me so of course I admired her. I also admired the fact that she got to wear diapers. She was a bedwetter and would wear Pampers under her pajamas.

Of course I didn't think much about it at the time. I also remember being at a neighborhood friends place. We were playing "house" and I guess they made me the baby, diaper and everything. I was too young to really remember how I was feeling, maybe nervous about getting caught. I can only speculate. But I'm assuming I have a "little" side to this day.

Nearly 20 years passed without much thought of being an AB/DL. I lost interest in video games and watching Muppet Babies, my teddy bears were donated to good will. Then my AB/DL interest came back slowly. I would think about it from time to time, eventually gaining enough courage to buy some diapers.

I still remember the excitement and anticipation when riding home on my bike, knowing a package of size 7 Pampers was in my bag. It may have been the same excitement I was feeling as a 6 year old when we played "house" in that attic.

But the interest once again diminished. I haven't worn in over a year now. I think about it often though, being a kid. Playing with Legos and video games, having my bear Ben with me. I guess I'm more interested in reminiscing right now than physically being an AB/DL. Which I love to think about. For now being a kid at heart is fine with me.

My bicycle is always ready though, for when I feel the urge to grab some diapers. I think I could find some episodes of Muppet Babies online too.

Updated 11-Feb-2014 at 00:59 by 54north (grammer)

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