by, 14-Nov-2008 at 18:52 (484 Views)
I feel really depressed now. I can't and probably never will get this straightened out. My social life has gone suicidal and is just too mych for me to handle right now. Let me get thing straight, first things first.
My family isn't very approving of my political standpoint nor the stands I pull in public. I'm so frustrated with them. Why can't they let me live my dream? I wish to make the place just a little bit better for at least someone. But I guess every revolutionist has to meet problems sooner or later, but the fact that it is my parents this time just makes me sad. Why is everyone so against communism, when they don't even know what's it about?
So, enough with the political talk. I'll talk about love now. You see, I've been in love with a girl for almost two years now. The thing is, I think she has feelings for me too. At class she always
looks at my direction, when we make eyecontact one of us always looks away. The problem is that both of us is very shy and probably too much to dare to make the first move. Very annoying indeed. In a swedish blog I posted about a year ago I explained this thorougly, and if some of you want's to read it, then I can give it to you. But it is in Swedish, just so you know.
But not only that situation. I've been her friend for more than 3 years now. And I've started to think that she has feelings for me, she is hitting on me constantly. I love her, but not in that way. I don't wan't to hurt her feelings, but I don't really know how. Every thing I do has it's consequences. And I don't know what to do.
Why can't life be simple? I mean, why should this be so hard? Life hardly seems fair when such a beautiful thing as love gets so painful as it is know.
Goddamit! I don't know how much of this I can take. It feels like everytime I get a yard ahead of my feelings something always comes back and stabs my back.
I can't stand losing the girl I love, but neither do I wan't to lose my best friend.
I guess, some people are just meant to be hurt, and have their hearts crushed.