Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby...#56
by, 28-Jan-2014 at 03:58 (956 Views)
At nap time today, I broke down and cried a little bit. I guess I was having intense feelings of shame regarding my wanting to be a baby again. I was also deeply emotionally upset about and wishing so very hard to never again have "adult" thoughts and feelings about sex and the awful yucky thing between my legs inside my diaper. "I AM A CHILD!!!!!", "I HATE GROWN UP THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS!!!!!", "I DO NOT WANT THEM ANYMORE!!!!!".
The only world I want to live in, is that of a little child.
Yet, I still have to be an "adult" for some aspects of my life. I feel very "split" between my "little" and "adult" selves. Maintaining a "balance" is difficult for me as an older adult with Autism and Cerebral Palsy.