Failing marriage stress
by, 04-Jan-2014 at 10:37 (648 Views)
I am going through a lot right now. I got married in October to a girl who not only got baptized into my church, but also is totally OK with all of my kinks. I knew she had some mental disorders before we got married but I thought she was just dealing with a lot of marriage stress. Well since getting married she has gotten worse and worse. There are so many problems and I just don't think I can handle it anymore.
It is hard to say exactly what is her disorder, and there are actually a lot of different ones, but the one that is causing the biggest pain for me is the inability for her to control her emotions. If something ticks her off a little bit she will turn into the incredible hulk and just go on a rampage. She has screamed at me, told me she hates me and wants me to die, kicked me, punched me, shoved me, and she even tried to bite me once. She always says that she is sorry afterwords, but I am the one that has to deal with it. She really has no control at all. I can be on the floor crying my eyes out and she will just keep on screaming and hitting me.
She also is indirectly incredibly controlling. If I don't want to wear the shirt that she likes, or I don't want to go to the store when she wants to, she will get more and more upset until she is screaming at the top of her lungs. The only way I have to stop her is to agree to do whatever she says. Again afterwords she will say that was a mistake and that she was sorry, but every single day I have to live as her slave and do exactly what she wants me to do, or else she will scream so loud the police will come.
I think if the roles were reversed, if I was a woman and she was a man, everyone would instantly say "get out of there" or "leave him, that is his problem not yours", but I feel pressure to honor marriage vows and just endure it. I don't want to throw out the good with the bad, but there is just so much more bad than good.
My mental health has taken a hit. I have started to twitch uncontrollably, I have panic attacks with shortness of breath, and sometimes I just cry and cry. I have been diapering up a lot lately and I am wanting to do more AB stuff now.