View RSS Feed

whiskeybravo

Some things that I think about.

Rate this Entry
We had a thread last week that was more thought provoking for me, that it might have been others. I decided that I wanted to blog, rather than start another thread, mosly because I'm just trying to sort out how things work in my life. Just read the first post. http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-to...-can-help.html

So, because I believe the Bible in quite literal terms, God only knows why. I can relate quite well to the concept that the wages of sin is death, (because I believe that) And also in Romans, Paul says that "all have sinned, and fallen short of the Glory of God."

But as I try to fit in my church, without exception the people that either know I (I'm suspending labels for clarity) wear diapers, or that I have psychological problems, Think that it's wrong. I suppose that it can be, but I live in a riddle that after every time some well-meaning person has said - "just stop it" I end up wearing more, and come closer to not really caring who finds out about my private life. (well, work would be a life changer, but church would not.)
So, Why is it wrong? I've used 1st Cor 10:23 as a justification, although some have used that verse to say, - look, its not edifying. So that's kind of a wash. Some people point to 1st peter 3:7 "Husbands live with you wives in an understanding way." Ok, great idea, I wish I'd thought of that one, but does that mean eradicating it completely? because my wife cannot stand any shred of my fetish? I know in my life that's not the healthiest decision.

So I'm kind of lost, I'd really rather not cut loose from Christianity, mostly because I believe that it's true. I know a lot of people don't think that, and I'm not trying to convince you otherwise at this time. I ask myself, how did I screw up? but letting myself like this when I was 3? all those nights I fell asleep thinking about diapers when I was 8? how would I ever know what a normal "sex drive" is? The Bible says that "God knit me together when I was in my mothers womb." (ps 193:13) So is my head wired for routine? that's how I got myself here? or maybe God is disappointing in me, saying to me "my son, I gave you all the tools to succeed against that, an intolerant wife, a fat Christian counselor that called you a [Redacted] (I don't need to propagate hate speech.) And I still am not interested in changing the action, because the thoughts remain. If wearing is wrong, is thinking about it wrong? would I never be able to walk by the diaper aisle without thinking "I like those"? (I doubt it.)

This is where I really wonder about labeling this a "thorn in my mind that will be there until the day I day." Because, to me, then so is coffee, beer, whiskey, looking at pictures of cars I don't need, and sex. maybe fling And all of a sudden, being a Christian doesn't look like so much fun anymore. Is that why God gave his only Son? So we can eradicate things we like from out lives? That doesn't sound like we Christians have the shoe on the right foot.

writing this helped me, it's playoff weekend, and I picking home teams across the board. (straight up that is.) But maybe SF and KC can surprise me. Thanks guys.
Tags: bible, diapers
Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Trevor's Avatar
    Although I was never a Christian in any active sense, I was religious for most of my life. While I had (and have) no problem with religious belief, I could never quite wrap my head around literalists or fundamentalism. For me, it failed basic tests of rationality to expect that the world was once a highly magical (for lack of a better term) and now is not, with the best we can generally manage is answered prayers that could be coincidence and Jesus' silhouette appearing on food items.

    I don't say this to attack your faith but I do question if the particular flavor as you describe it is making things better for yourself and others. To me, that's pretty much the ultimate test: is your faith making you a better person than you would otherwise be? This can be a hard question to answer if your sense of what is good stems only from that faith; it's sort of a feedback loop. My best suggestion is to try and look as objectively as you can at what you are doing and what you believe and see if it's doing good. If not, maybe something else is better.

    In our particular situation as ABDLs, I had a great deal of stress growing up with this. Part of it was related to religious concerns but I would say my own worries about what it meant were of greater importance than how it might be regarded. I came to terms with it grudgingly and my religious affiliation didn't interfere with that (I kept it to myself). Even that self acceptance through gritted teeth was so much better than the ongoing resistance. For one thing, it no longer occupied my thoughts with the same urgency. Participating in online communities and meeting others cleared it up for me considerably, and I shifted gears again. I am now happy with this part of myself as I have seen how it can be beneficial to myself and others.

    I can't say that you could do the same or even should. Maybe I've made a grave error in my thinking somewhere along the line and my soul (if I have one) is in jeopardy. Ultimately, I just couldn't imagine that any God or gods worth knowing would care about this kink of mine, particularly when it didn't impede my efforts to do good. I wish you all the best in working this out.
    Updated 03-Jan-2014 at 21:17 by Trevor (fixing misplaced parenthesis.)
  2. littlelodgewrecker's Avatar
    whiskeybravo

    i followed the same thread you speak of, with much dismay. but then i remembered a couple very important thoughts.
    faith is a gift of grace.
    and if i want to understand my fetish, i don't go to church. i go to a place populated with like-minded folks.
    just the same as if i want to better understand my faith in god.... i go to his house and ask.

    render onto caesar that which is his & so-forth....
  3. DexxKizwizard's Avatar
    I am not religious, but like Trevor, was brought up as a Catholic, baptised, holy communion and confirmed. My mother is still very religious and turns to God for many things.

    As a comparison my mother recently has been trying to reconcile, whether or not she should start seeing men again after divorcing my father ten years ago. She is very worried about her faith and feels God will not love her if she does because, in the eyes of the church, she is married to my father still.

    My mother has done a lot of charity work and always helps those in need, attends church every week and lives a good life. I told her that if God would not love her for seeking some happiness in this life after all the good deeds she has done, then I would not want the love of such a God.

    Bringing it back to your situation I would offer that God made man in his image, maybe he likes people to have fun and enjoy the world he created for them. One of the things he created for you was diapers that you find enjoyment from. I don't think you need to use scripture to find answers to a simple question. I like lasagne but I would find it very difficult to find a passage from either testament that justifies my love for pasta based dishes. I have always felt that religion is a very broad way of helping those that choose to follow it lead a good life. Religion is far too generalised to apply it to very specific situations and it is meant to be used to give you examples of how to live that good life.

    I hope you can reconcile your problem to a good conclusion. I wish you luck.
  4. CheshireCat's Avatar
    I know you posted this to your blog a year and a half ago, but I thought I would throw a few things at you to think about.

    I am a christian, I deal with incontinence, and I am a DL. Based on that order it may appear that I have nothing to be concerned about. But it wasn’t like that from the beginning.

    As a child I dealt with occasional bedwetting and pants wetting, and made to feel embarrassed about it by my parents. Getting tickled ALWAYS meant wet pants, and the teasing that went with it. As I grew older, it didn’t get better… I just learned how best to avoid it. (When Saran Wrap came out it was a god send... I would wear two pairs of briefs with a piece of Saran Wrap in between. If I had a minor wetting no spot would appear on my pants).

    I remember the first time I found diapers and plastic pants for adult incontinence in the Sears catalog. How I wished I could get some… diapers for bedtime and just flannel lined plastic pants to wear over my briefs for school to prevent wet spots. But it wasn’t to happen. But that started my desire for diapers.

    In my teens I went to a pharmacy for something and near what I was picking up I saw plastic coated nylon pants with a snap-in flannel liner. just like in the Sears catalog! I bought a pair. I quickly discovered they were too bulky to wear during the day (I was really skinny) and being a horny teenager I found them impossible to wear at bedtime. Plus, there was the problem of washing them discretely. That were my first binge and purge.

    By my mid twenties I was married and relocated. The first time I needed to fill a prescription I walked into a pharmacy that was a home medical supply store and had just gotten in the first diapers by Attends. Real disposable diapers for adults! They had them displayed in LARGE open boxes, so that one could buy samples of the various sizes. I grabbed several and days later I had some alone time to try them out. Again, being as skinny as I was, I found I could not wear them during the day without them being noticeable, and being married I couldn’t wear them at night, let alone explain it to my wife. So over the next many years I would buy samples on occasion and bags when she was away visiting family. I struggled greatly with the desire to wear for confidence, and the huge sexual rush from wearing.

    Flash forward to middle age and I had a major health crisis. I was in and out of the hospital for a year and a half, and needed full time care. I was urinary incontinent and put in diapers (no catheters as I was on immunosuppressants). Attends were the best thing going back then, but they were not good enough, so my wife got me cloth diapers and plastic pants. Attends for out of the house (doctor, hospital, etc.) cloth diapers for home. Trying to remove some of the stigma for me, her, and our young kids, she bought me flannel diapers with juvenile prints. Talking about feeling childish! There was no sexual rush as I was impotent from the health crisis, but I still struggled because I found I didn’t mind wearing diapers.

    So now I’m in my sixties. The health crisis turned out to be a genetic disorder… always had it, always will. Just took a long time before it reared it’s ugly head. The incontinence is a result of the genetic disorder. The bedwetting and pants wetting before the health crisis was the genetic disorder induced incontinence in it’s early form. I grew up thinking I needed to learn how to control my bladder better. Now I know I was doing an incredible job of controlling my bladder. I grew up thinking my interest in diapers was a fetish. Now that I’m older I know I was mistaken. I now enjoy wearing diapers for the confidence I gain.

    I tried a pacifier and found it did nothing for me. Plushes do nothing for me. I met up with an AB for lunch once to determine if getting together with a ‘padded’ group would be of interest. The AB was mostly interested in talking about the bondage scenarios the group enjoyed. Not my cup of tea. I wear a footed sleeper to bed now, because I find they prevent my genetic disorder from flaring up while sleeping. I tried these things to help me delineate between needs and fetish. Now I know I am not an AB. But I swear by footed sleepers.

    At the same time, I wouldn’t mind hanging with someone or others in diapers, even if I’m the only one that is incontinent. But, I have no desire to have sex with them, or witnessing an orgy, not because I am asexual or impotent, but because I am a christian.

    Long winded response, but I hope it gives you things to ponder.
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.