Some things that I think about.
by, 03-Jan-2014 at 18:09 (566 Views)
We had a thread last week that was more thought provoking for me, that it might have been others. I decided that I wanted to blog, rather than start another thread, mosly because I'm just trying to sort out how things work in my life. Just read the first post. http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-to...-can-help.html
So, because I believe the Bible in quite literal terms, God only knows why. I can relate quite well to the concept that the wages of sin is death, (because I believe that) And also in Romans, Paul says that "all have sinned, and fallen short of the Glory of God."
But as I try to fit in my church, without exception the people that either know I (I'm suspending labels for clarity) wear diapers, or that I have psychological problems, Think that it's wrong. I suppose that it can be, but I live in a riddle that after every time some well-meaning person has said - "just stop it" I end up wearing more, and come closer to not really caring who finds out about my private life. (well, work would be a life changer, but church would not.)
So, Why is it wrong? I've used 1st Cor 10:23 as a justification, although some have used that verse to say, - look, its not edifying. So that's kind of a wash. Some people point to 1st peter 3:7 "Husbands live with you wives in an understanding way." Ok, great idea, I wish I'd thought of that one, but does that mean eradicating it completely? because my wife cannot stand any shred of my fetish? I know in my life that's not the healthiest decision.
So I'm kind of lost, I'd really rather not cut loose from Christianity, mostly because I believe that it's true. I know a lot of people don't think that, and I'm not trying to convince you otherwise at this time. I ask myself, how did I screw up? but letting myself like this when I was 3? all those nights I fell asleep thinking about diapers when I was 8? how would I ever know what a normal "sex drive" is? The Bible says that "God knit me together when I was in my mothers womb." (ps 193:13) So is my head wired for routine? that's how I got myself here? or maybe God is disappointing in me, saying to me "my son, I gave you all the tools to succeed against that, an intolerant wife, a fat Christian counselor that called you a [Redacted] (I don't need to propagate hate speech.) And I still am not interested in changing the action, because the thoughts remain. If wearing is wrong, is thinking about it wrong? would I never be able to walk by the diaper aisle without thinking "I like those"? (I doubt it.)
This is where I really wonder about labeling this a "thorn in my mind that will be there until the day I day." Because, to me, then so is coffee, beer, whiskey, looking at pictures of cars I don't need, and sex. maybe fling And all of a sudden, being a Christian doesn't look like so much fun anymore. Is that why God gave his only Son? So we can eradicate things we like from out lives? That doesn't sound like we Christians have the shoe on the right foot.
writing this helped me, it's playoff weekend, and I picking home teams across the board. (straight up that is.) But maybe SF and KC can surprise me. Thanks guys.