The Perpetual Fail That Is My Life.
by, 12-Dec-2013 at 01:10 (694 Views)
A few days ago I received a coupon in the mail for one free Karate lesson, as a sort of trial thing, and I thought "Hey, Ash, you live alone right now. If someone broke into your house your only options would be to hide or get beaten up." So I decided that given the lesson was free, I had nothing to lose.
When I arrived at the dojo/gym/whatever I realised fairly quickly that I was the oldest person there who would be participating. Initially I was worried that I would be joining some kids class, but I decided to stay because beating a bunch of preteens in a few mock-fights would likely do wonders for my self confidence.
Things were going quite well. I copied all the overly exaggerated air punches and kicks and stayed (almost) in time with the loud, and frankly unnecessary, yelling that accompanied each imaginary blow. Once the warm up was over, however, things took a noticable turn for the worst.
I suppose in hindsight I should have known something wasn't entirely right when I saw the smug, self satisfied grins on some of the parents' faces as we lined up to begin sparring.
20 minutes later, I returned to my place in the line, my confidence having been shattered after being sent sprawling to the ground in 3 out of my 4 mock-fights, with the single win being gifted to me by a boy who sprained his ankle while I desperately dodged around him.
After the obligatory end-of-session speech where the instructor informed everybody that they had done well, he came and spoke to me about continuing the instruction into the future. When I informed him that I had no intention of investing in further exercises in humiliation, he responded that it was "probably for the best" and that if self defence was a concern for me, I should "pick up some pepper spray".
Overall, I rate that day an 8/10 for humiliation, and a 10/10 for something I need to remember never to do again.