View RSS Feed


Well, the Zoloft doesn't seem to be kicking in

Rate this Entry
A month ago I abruptly left my living arrangements that were griefing me a great deal to find myself feeling as depressed and confused as ever. After witnessing something unfold with a fellow ADISC 'sister' (I'd hope to think & would be honoUred and what they were going through with their RL family it led me to question whether I acted rashly by running out on my mother & brother and taking up with my dad & stepmom who have told me more than once that I am loved here unconditionally - yet at the same time I wonder 'if they only knew' and I can't shake the feeling that I'm just using everyone who shares the same last name as me.

Meanwhile, my whole life is tied to my mother's house - the address on my driver's license and where I base all of my doctors' appointments from, and to complicate things my name is on the mortgage, then I have my current situation where it's a bit cramped and I find myself inwardly annoyed at my dad from time to time but I've been welcomed with open arms. I'm just feeling I can't get any momentum in any direction almost literally since I don't have any of my tools or toys with me, yet if I were to go groveling back to my mother's I still couldn't use any of it there and if I were to retrieve any of it that would make a sense of being final. At the same time they may be truly tired of me since they asked about getting my birds to me, and why wouldn't they be imploring me to come back and work things out? I get the feeling that maybe I painted myself into a really bad corner...


  1. Frogsy's Avatar
    Aw, it sounds like you're just having a really hard time with this.

    Would it help if you broke everything down into one thing at a time? Questions like "what if they knew" aren't really helpful because you can't predict what other people do and you can't control that anyway. And it doesn't have to be groveling back. That's a way of painting a picture, saying groveling, if you need to accept help in some way then you are a normal human being accepting help when help is needed. And, maybe, with the getting stuff, they're just being supportive of your move? I don't know, I'm not them. I'm not you. I'm just trying to give you another perspective.

    Hope it helped in some way. The main thing is that no one can ever do anything about someone else's behavior / words / feelings. You seem very concerned about the way your family perceives you, and it's a losing battle worrying about that. People perceive you however they're gonna perceive you. Just be true to your values and yourself and people worth your time will like you.
  2. Adventurer's Avatar
    Yeah, it's never easy to try and finalize a move. Especially when you worry about how others will take it or perceive it. I'm not right at the centre of this, but based on what I've seen before, your mom was never very kind to you, or accepting of how you were different. You never sounded very happy there, and always sounded like you were desperate to get out.

    Honestly, based only on what I've seen, it may be wise to go get your stuff and make the move permanent. Yes, feelings will be hurt. Lines will be drawn. In my recent situation, I had to do the same thing to assure my safety and privacy. If you're in a house where you're with people who care for you, and are happy to have you there, it's not freeloading. It could be a place where you're at least treated lovingly. Yes, you'll have to be careful with your hobbies, but with some clever hiding, you might just be OK. Plan before you go get everything, though!

    I'm not sure you've painted yourself into a corner. You might instead be on the edge of something wonderful. All you have to do is take the leap.

    And whatever you choose to do, I've got your back as you go through it, sister - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.