Ramblings of a Lil Monkey...
by, 04-Dec-2013 at 09:36 (472 Views)
I hope I can do a good job of keeping this drama free. I don't know exactly how to say what I am wanting to say, or what I am even wanting to say, actually. But here it goes anyway....
Recently someone called in to question my activity (or lack there of) on this site. I argued that even though over the past year I have become much less vocal than I used to be, that I am still a member of ADISC and plan to continue to be. I don't think that that 'someone' believed me, but that doesn't really matter to me. The fact is that at one point ADISC was a big part of my life, and even though it is not nearly as big as it used to be, it is still a part of my life.
It has changed, though. I am not going to make this one of those 'ADISC used to be....' posts and complain about changes in the rules, the community, the staff and leadership over the past year or so. There is enough of those threads out there already. I have my opinions on that, and I have already shared them with those that I feel may be in places where they can try and make changes. But all of that aside... ADISC has changed for me. It seems like most of my connections to this site are gone. Most of my good friends are gone or inactive. Most of the activities I enjoyed doing on this site have lost their appeal for me. Things someone has said to me has really just made me feel like I don't have a purpose or any reason to be on here any more... to the point of almost making me feel unwelcome here completely.
I have said in the past that I was thinking about leaving adisc... mainly after the teen ban, and pretty much insinuated it after the RP/Story forums were threatened, but I have no desire to permanently leave this site. And even if I don't make as many posts as I used to, don't have as many friends as I used to, am not the 'friendly' 'role-model' I used to be, or enjoy doing the things I used to do... ADISC is still a part of me.
Over the past month or so, I have though about making some big flaming post about what I don't like about ADISC and just accepting the very likely ban that would follow. I have thought about getting a group of good friends and respected members together and trying to make a new site with a strong foundation. I have thought about doing lots of things that would ultimately end my membership here and ensure I never came back. But that's not the type of person I am, and those that know me, know that.
There will always be those on the other side of the spectrum that think they 'know all' and can tell me what's wrong with me and why I am not welcome here and read into posts like this and use them to judge me unfairly. There will always be those that will make me feel bad about myself, make me angry, make me want to leave... but those types will be there no matter what site I become a member of. They will even be there in real life. I choose not to let that type of person make decisions for me.
So yeah... I am here. I am staying here. I have no intention of leaving. But... until I begin to build new connections, I am going to be less active than before. I don't expect any member awards, any massive boost in rep, or any recognition at all. I am just going to hang out and stick around and continue to be a part of a community that (for the most part) has always welcomed me as a member.