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Over this past weekend, my daughter-in-law passed away.

It was, in the end, quiet and peaceful, as such things ought to be. My son was with her. My daughters had been there the previous day, though she was unconscious the whole time. (I believe that she knew they had come; it was what she had been waiting for.)

We've had plenty of tears here, and many are ongoing. There is still quite a bit to take care of. They had no jobs and no insurance--this whole thing was on Medicaid (and BTW Illinois Medicaid was wonderful throughout this and they received top quality care right to the end)--so we're now dealing with the boondoggle that is public aid cremation. But that is a small thing. The larger thing is that she was loved and that my son knew her love for so many years. He is of course heartbroken and devastated by her loss, but healing will start. And if there is a silver lining, that is it. Three years ago he told me that he would go out with her, that he would see her buried and then take his own life. Now, he is thinking about his own future. He is planning on apartment hunting with a friend as soon as that friend gets a more stable job, and he is adopting a dog.

We'll get past all of this. It will just take time.



  1. LilCoyote's Avatar
    My deepest sympathy to you and your whole family. Lots of big hugs also.
  2. Trevor's Avatar
    So sorry for the loss to you and your family. Knowing it was coming probably doesn't make it much easier. Your silver lining is a good one. Maybe having time to get used to it helped after all.
  3. Marka's Avatar
    My words, I cannot express thoughts are with you! It reminds me of a few years ago...perhaps we'll talk about it sometime...
  4. foxkits's Avatar
    she was there and did know what we really are is. beings of light.
    I sorry for your loss there a great book be thankful for the shade .
    helps me at times like this.
  5. Adventurer's Avatar
    Kerry, I'm so sorry that this happened. It's never easy, and there will certainly be tears. If there's any comfort to be had, just remember how much your love meant to your soon and daughter-in-law these past few years. You made a difference during this pain.

    Take the time you need to feel whatever it is you're feeling. We're here to listen and help any way we can.
  6. Starrunner's Avatar
    I know this was coming on for a while now but that never makes it any easier. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was surrounded by much love at the time of her passing.
  7. caitianx's Avatar
    Yes! Even I am thinking of you and your family.

    Salem, NH
  8. Nadia's Avatar
    I am very sorry to hear of you and your family's loss. It is never easy to live without someone, especially someone so young. I would like you to know that if there is anything you ever need or want to talk about we are here. As a community, as friends and most of all as family. We will always be here, and I want you to know that you are not alone and that everything will be okay.

  9. Frogsy's Avatar
    sometimes there's just nothing to say.
  10. kerry's Avatar
    Thank you all for the very kind thoughts and words. As Frogsy said, sometimes there really is nothing to say.
  11. Capybyra's Avatar
    Condolences. - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.