Being honest and being a dick- there is a difference.
by, 21-Oct-2013 at 18:51 (752 Views)
When I was young, I thought it was really cool to be blunt, to have "no filter" and just say whatever popped into my head, regardless of whether or not anyone requested my input. Usually, I was just being a jerk, looking for a reaction. In today's terms I would have been a troll. As I've grown older, I've realized that there are ways to be honest with people without being rude or insensitive. There are ways to offer criticism without sounding like a total asshole. There are ways to be supportive of somebody even if you have a different viewpoint.
1. Never offer your advice unless you're asked for it. Or, if you have a nugget of wisdom that is so amazing that you feel the need to tell them and it must be said, private message them or talk to them in person if you can.
2. If nothing is going to stop you from offering your opinion, try not to state it in a condescending, arrogant manner. For some reason, people don't like feeling like they're being kicked while they're down. They don't like being lectured about all the things they should have done or things they have yet to do. I'm sure somebody who is feeling down is already criticizing themselves quite enough. Nobody liked Brainy Smurf. Don't be Brainy Smurf.
3. Don't assume that your advice is some magical cure all for what someone else is going through. For all you know, they may have considered or even attempted the advice you're about to give them, and depending on how that advice is delivered, it can come off as self-righteous. If your real goal is to help someone out, acting like everything you do is always right isn't very helpful.
4. Lastly, offering unsolicited advice and being rude and judgmental in the process is not being honest, and its not being "blunt". It's not even "keeping it real". It's just being a dick. Being a dick and then holding out your arms like, "what, I was just being honest" when the person you're pontificating to lashes back at you makes one look even more like a dick. Again, one can offer advice- even advice that someone may not want to hear- without being top-heavy, without talking down to someone, and without smashing them just for the sake of showing everyone how correct they are.
I hope this helps... someone. Anyone. Be excellent to each other.