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caitianx

Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#32

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Monday, October 14, 2013 - 1:30 PM -

Had a look at the "Granite State Independent Living" Organ-
ization website, www.gsil.org. Hmm? It "looks very nice",
but honestly, I, a person with Asperger's Syndrome/Autism
and Cerebral Palsy honestly does not even "believe" they
are a "legitimate" social services organization. There are
too many "fake" organizations out there which are only
"false fronts" for criminals who only want to steal from
and destroy persons like myself who have lifelong develop-
mental disabilities. I will admit, that I would like to
be able to have a clean, safe disabled-access apartment,
preferably in the Town of Pelham, NH, near enough to the
First Congregational Church where I am now serving as a
Deacon Elder, if my younger brother can no longer keep this
family home which he inherited, and which I am an occup-
ant as a 55 year-old adult with Autism/Asperger's and
Cerebral Palsy. More than likely, in the "near-future", I
will probably have to "live out of my handicapped-adapted
2008 Ford Ranger Pickup Truck". I see that as the totally
100% "realistic reality" of my personal future as a person
with lifelong developmental disabilities.

Well, I should go out into my own back yard to mutely play
with some of my HASBRO NERF toy guns, all alone by myself
as usual.

3:30 PM -

I did go out and play for a short time outside in my back
yard with one of my HASBRO NERF toy guns. I have had a few
thoughts, that all the "politicians" down in Washington, DC
should get "lined up against a wall" and then get "shot in
the head", because they are full of greed and that they all
really hate persons like me, an adult with lifelong phy-
sical and developmental disabilities. I see them all as
"Social Darwinists", who only care about themselves, and
not about anybody else who is less fortunate than they are.
I do see all the Washington, DC politicians as being just
"satanic and immoral", based upon my own ruthlessly harsh
code of honor, based upon total honesty, fairness towards
others, charity, and hard work. As a person with Autism, I
see them all as an "abomination" and not worthy of respect
whatsoever.

6:15 PM -

Earlier, my younger brother gave me $5.00 to go get myself
a Cheeseburger@ the "McCholesterol" Burger Joint on NH
Route 28 here in Salem, NH. It was really my only meal of
the day. Afterwards, I did spend some time @ the "Target
Department Store" here behind the "McCholesterol" Burger
Joint. Only looked @ "child-appropriate" DVD's for sale. I
will have to wait until my next fiscal month to purchase
the 2 "My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic" DVD's that I
want for my extensive personal DVD library.

6:33 PM -

I am not "cute and cuddly" as a person. I am more like a
Kzinti. I find myself "sharpening my claws" to "wage war
against the Republi(KKK)an Political Party Social Darwin-
ists". Not just myself, but most all of my friends in the
Autism and Cerebral Palsy Developmental Disability Com-
munity are "getting ready for political war". After all, it
is our very "physical survival in this world" that is @
stake now.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013 - 11:12 AM -

JUst simply alone by myself here @ home. My younger brother
is out, and I have no idea where he is or what he is doing.
I expect no visitors whatsoever as an older Autistic adult.
All I have for companionship is my own inner thoughts and
feelings.

1:15 PM -

My younger brother returned home @ 11:30 AM, and I did go
out in my truck to haul all our trash/recyclables away to
the Refuse Collection Center on Shannon Road here in my
Town of Salem, NH. I also went to the bank to withdraw
$50.00 in cash and purchased gasoline for my truck. Anyway
I am sitting alone by myself again in the downstairs Den
room, and mutely using my computer to access the Internet.
Most of my day is spent "alone". As I said before, I do not
receive any "visitors". It is the same with my younger non-
disabled brother. We are both "outcasts from society". This
is the stark truthful reality of being "older" adult child-
ren of a psychotic mentally-ill parent who was never
treated for her Mental Illness while she was alive here on
this planet.

Well, I should continue on with keeping up my employment
search, which has still been going on for 12 years straight
since I was "fired" from Brooks Automation, Inc. in Chelms-
ford, Massachusetts, solely upon the basis of me being a
Homosexual. Yes! The "truth" of the loss of my last ever
gainful employment position in my adult life as an Autistic
with Cerebral Palsy is a bitter pill, but I simply have
lived with it these past 12 years, and I have taken my now
permanent "blacklisting from all employment everywhere" in
the State of New Hampshire, and Northeastern Massachusetts,
"like a man".

Hmm? Yesterday, my online Asperger's Syndrome/Autism friend,
"Dusya" asked me to "relate" my experiences I have had as
an Autistic person regarding accessing and utilizing NH
State Vocational Rehabilitation Services for the Disabled to
a person who came to our "local" www.grasp.org social and
support group meeting with his teenaged Autistic son who is
a Mathematics Prodigy. For me, trying to access and use
"State Vocational Rehabilitation Services" are a total
"waste of taxpayer money". I have been throught the NH sys-
tem 3 times since 1986, and I have nothing to show for it.
In fact, the way they "presented me to all potential
employers", was that I was a "lying malingering sociopathic
animal" who "could not be trusted in any kind of job", even
to "clean shit-filled toilets all day long". Anyway, the NH
State Department of Vocational Rehabilitation for the Dis-
abled "sealed" my "permanent blacklisting from employment
everywhere in the State of New Hampshire", doing "anything
at all".

Well, my "original" life's ambition was to be an Astro-
physicist, but the "reality" of my life today @ age 55 is
that I am a "permanent worthless burden to society". I have
contributed absolutely "nothing" to the "greater good",
since I graduated from High School here in Salem, NH in the
year 1976 AD as an "adult" living with Autism and Cerebral
Palsy.

2:05 PM -

Experiencing a bit of Facial Lacrimal Gland Discharge
sitting here @ my computer. I do have to personally thank
the Honourable Senator Thomas Coburn (R) of Oaklahoma for
appearing on the CBS Network News Magazine TV Show "60
Minutes" and publicly calling me a person with Autism and
Cerebral Palsy, a "totally fraudulent and fake disabled
person" who has "no right whatsoever to receive aid or
assistance from anyone".

2:55 PM -

Received a telephone call from my Primary Care Physician's
office in Derry, NH, regarding my last Cholesterol Level
Blood Test. I will note, that my younger brother did check
the mailbox, and there was no mail for me.

5:00 PM -

In a short time I have to go out in my truck over to Pelham,
NH to a meeting of the "Missions Committee" @ my church. As
it is, I have profoundly few "outside" connections in the
community here where I live. The church is one of them.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013 - 1:55 PM -

Had to go out in my truck earlier to finally get my pre-
scription for Tamsulosin "refilled". I also had to purchase
postage stamps and mail off "bill payments" at the Post
Ofice here in town. I then had to go to the Walmart Super-
center Department Store to purchase food to eat.

Anyway, it is only 10 hours left, until the political shit-
head "fuck-ups" blow up the entire planetary trade economy
with their refusal to "straighten out and fly right" and to
"properly govern this nation". Believe me, if I did what
those political shitheads have been doing these past 2 weeks,
I would have been ruthlessly "thrown out the front door
onto my fucking arse" by an employer. Any they all say,
that an Autistic with Cerebral Palsy like me has "no common
sense at all"?

5:05 PM -

Hmm? I guess there is a fucking deal down in Washington, DC
among all the political shitheads. Maybe the opinion of the
average American Citizen has got them all scared shitless
for their positions of temporal power.

Well, it is late afternoon, and I have been outside starting
work on my latest video show production for the Derry, NH
Community Public-Access CATV Station/Studio.

7:30 PM -

I admit to being profoundly "grumpy" for many days. Earlier,
I was out in the back yard and I mutely played with my NERF
toy guns. Doing that made me happy. While playing outside,
I did uncontrollably make a lot of pee-pee in my diaper. I
do suppose, that I am happiest nowadays simply engaging in
the simple pleasures of childish play. @ least now I do not
have any interruptions from a psychotic parent, since she
passed-away 5 years ago.
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Comments

  1. acorn's Avatar
    Shooting politicians is a waste of good ammunition, you simply cannot justify the needless expense. There is very little more pleasurable in life than watching a 'twat' crying at a polling station, when he realizes the gravy-train has left him behind and he will not be returning to office. What is really wrong with the system is that people don't make enough demands of the public representative that they vote into office. Stay strong, keep the faith.
  2. RouteLeader's Avatar
    Politicians only care about themselves. We are nothing to them. Nothing at all.
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