Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#31
by, 14-Oct-2013 at 18:10 (815 Views)
Sunday, October 13, 2013 - 6:05 PM -
Just being alone by myself as usual, which is "normal" for
an Autistic person like myself. There is of course, nothing
on "regular" broadcast television for me to watch. I am of
course, instead, watching a DVD here in the downstairs Den
room here @ home.As to what I am watching, it is "Genesis
Climber MOSPEADA", an old Japanese Anime Sci-Fi Series. It
is in Japanese, with English Subtitles.
I will admit to being bored.
I do wish that I had visitors here to see and talk to me
here at my house. But, I have learned, that such a thing
as that is "completely unrealistic", given that I am the
"Eldest Son" of a psychotic mentally ill parent, who even
though she has been dead for 5 years now, I personally do
have to live with the social stigma of being the offspring
of a wacked-out "fruitcake". Every adult child of mentally
ill parent(s) have to live with this lifelong unfair soc-
ial stigma, which can last for "several generations".
8:20 PM -
I did go out in my truck again, but over to the Cumberland
Farms Convenience Store on NH Route 28 south of Kelley
Road to purchase a dessert treat for myself. As I mentioned
earlier, nobody drops over to visit to say "Hello!" to me
or ask me how I am doing. Only other thing of note that has
happened, is that earlier, an Asperger's/Autism friend of
mine from Columbus, Ohio who also wears diapers too like I
do telephoned me and we talked for a bit. He is 57 and also
like me is "retired" on SSDI. Most of the Autism/Asperger's
sdults I know are either on SSI/SSDI or working in "shit
jobs" where their real skills and abilities are not being
utilized and only making "minimum wage".
8:50 PM -
Tomorrow is the Columbus Day Monday Holiday. More than
likely, I will simply "hang around home", since I have very
little petrol in my truck, and no money in my pocket, which
is "normal" for me. If the weather is nice, I will hobble
up to the William T. Barron Elementary School around the
corner and back for exercise. I will also mutely play alone
by myself in the back yard with my NERF toy guns to amuse
myself. But, I wish I had other Autistic adults nearby to
play NERF WAR with me. Playing pretend "Cowboys versus
Taliban" with NERF toy guns would be fun. But, the trouble
is, is that "nobody" will come over to "play with me". All
my life, I have wanted others of my own age to come over
to play with me, but that hardly ever happened when I was
a child. Yes! Even though I did play with my younger non-
disabled brother, I was always lonely and friendless as a
person with Autism.
Monday, October 14, 2013 - 12:25 PM -
It is simply "another day" and nobody wants to come over to
play "Cowboys Versus Taliban" with me.I am lonely. Are
there other Autistic adults here in my town of Salem, NH?
I can not even answer that question. I would like other
adults my own age with Asperger's Syndrome/Autism to come
to my house to play with me, who are also permanently
retired and living on Social Security, but it seems that my
"fondest wish" will never come true. My Mommy who was
Psychotic and Mentally-Illwhen she was alive "drove every-
body away" and made the whole outside world hate and ostra-
cize me as a person. Because of her, everybody in the
entire outside world thinks that I am a cuckoo fruitcake too
like she was. NO! I have Autism and I also have Cerebral
Palsy. Here in Salem, New Hampshire, I would like to have
other friends like me who are also on the Autism Spectrum,
but there is nobody around to talk or discuss this with. I
am an outcast and I am all alone.
Of course, I do occasionally get to meet other Asperger's
Syndrome/Autism adults, but I have to drive tens of miles
one-way down into the State of Massachusetts to do that.
Why is there "nothing" here in my own Town of Salem, NH?
The onlly answer I can logically come up with, is that it
is not anything anybody here in this town wants to do to
facilitate for people on the Autism Spectrum to have any
kind of "social connections" outside of home with other
local in-town residents with Autism.
1:00 PM -
There is "silence" in this house right now. My younger non-
disabled brother is taking a nap. I myself spend most of my
waking hours mute and my cognitive will to speak is very
minimal. For me, even the psychotic raging of my late
Mommy with all its "extreme hatred and illogic" would be
"preferable" than this "silence" now. Even having a gang of
Neo-Nazi thugs spraying swastikas and "SEIG HEIL!!!!!" on
the outside walls of the house would be accepted by me as a
form of "social interaction" with me, an Autistic person.