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Distugusted and Ashamed :(

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A blog post, never thought I would post one. But here I go.

Now, this isn't a post like you think. I am not disgusted or ashamed about wearing diapers, or being a cub. I love diapers and I enjoy being a cub and all that comes with it. The part that disgusts me is my own body. Every time I think of padding or put on padding,... "mr happy" wakes. And I hate it that diapers does it to me. I always have. That is why I had a hard time accepting I liked diapers because I hated it would "turn me on". It always goes away after ten minutes of putting it on and usually stays away for the duration of wearing. But it still happens and I hate. Me being asexual, I don't like erections anyway, I hate them actually. And I hate that diapers causes them. I just wish that diapers didn't do that me.

Not sure if this really deserves taking up space on the interent, but I posted it anyway.
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Comments

  1. oleman72's Avatar
    Your not the first one to blog about this. It happens a lot with young people your in your age group. After a little time goes
    by you will get used it. Then pee wee won't grow as often and stay in his place.
  2. Marka's Avatar
    There's a psychological, and physical stimulation from this...try to understand and be patient with this. Making an issue about it, good or bad likely adds to the stimulation. Erections don't equal sexual activity either...

    Diapers mean something special to you, and they have a particular 'swaddling' sensation too...you have a dual aspect sensationalism in an erogenous area...it's okay...let it pass...

    Peace,
    -Marka
  3. Trevor's Avatar
    If it's arousing, it is arousing. If you can't accept this, you are not fully engaged in accepting yourself in this. From what you describe, it appears to be a pretty small part of the overall experience. Enjoy that for what it is and move on to the other parts. There's no sense fighting yourself and asexuality doesn't necessarily mean no desire or arousal at all, as you can clearly see.
  4. Luckyfish's Avatar
    Like Trevor said, it is what it is.
    Oh i hate the fact i find a certain thing arousing....
    you cant help it why hate yourself over it?
    You need to play your self acceptance mantra over and over and you will eventually love and accept this.
  5. Note's Avatar
    OK this is a really old blog but thought it was worth my attention anyway. Did you know, that even children in their infancy get erections with diapers? Or anyone playing in that area for that matter. It does happen at times. But let me ask you this: since your posting of this blog, has it gotten worse, or better for you? Because for a lot, the more you wear, the less arousing it gets over time.

    And if its any consolation I too experience this and absolutely hate it! Its like my mind and my body are constantly at war with each other. But with that said, I can still enjoy "cubbing out" all the same. Because I know, and can rest assured that ABDL for me at least, isn't just entirely a sexually driven thing. So try not to look into the sexual aspects of it to much and enjoy it for your own reasons...
    Updated 13-Apr-2015 at 10:25 by Note
  6. Note's Avatar
    I was just thinking about your situation. If its still an issue maybe try this. If you do, let us know if it works.
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