i feel like i have to grow up.
by, 27-Sep-2013 at 22:15 (517 Views)
I don't really know where to begin with this one. a year ago I had my daughter. she's amazing, beautiful, full of light. she's my Dahlia. but im very young and I know that alot of young women have children. I wonder if maybe they ever feel like they had their kid or kids too early... I love my daughter and my step kids (7 and 8) but im so tired. recently I came out to my husband about my wanting to be babied.. and I feel like since I did.. im resenting my self more. like I dislike my self even more now. I feel like I HAVE to grow up. I didt really have much of a childhood. I mean I played I wen out got some toys.. but my mom was very abusive to me and my siblings. she wasn't always bad but when she was it was scary and horrible. which is why I left home when I was 18 1/2 so almost 3 years well 2 1/2 ..anyway. I just don't feel like being a baby lately. im depressed, im not energetic... not with out coffee. its not fair to my kids. so I guess what im asking is ,, has anyone felt like giving up on being a baby once they told someone? my husband said we could get stuff like diapers and maybe a baby bed for me and he'd do all that stuff for me .. what ever to make me happy. but im not feeling that. I feel like he secretly hates it but doesn't wanna tell me bc he thinks im happy. we played with it for maybe 2 weeks. while we were in Kuwait ..(we moved back to Egypt like 4 days ago) and I was so happy, now im here im depressed and have no energy for what I really like. what can I do? I don't mind being here, its just I want that spark of excitement. when he and I started acting on it, I could feel it was not gonna be how I always imagined. he would feed me and unless I showed him exactly what to do .. he woudnt do it. I felt sad. we never did diapers bc he always said when were not with the kids.. but now I just don't want any of it. idk I really need some advice. ive talked to him and he says hes okay with it and he will do anything to make me happy I think ive said that already.. anyway I guess this is more of a rant then a blog. oh well. fell free to comment what ever you like. as for now my little baby girl side is going back down. I will still be on the site but idk how often. I do appreciate all support and answers I have found here. Moo you run a great site and I thankyou.
I hope this wasn't too bumming.