Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#24
by, 25-Sep-2013 at 00:27 (351 Views)
Now after 7:00 PM, and I have been in "solitude" all day long. Who the Hell knows where my own younger non-disabled brother went. I apologize for my thoughts and feelings earlier today. Even via the World Wide Web, nobody really has contacted me to even ask a simple question of me, like "How are you?", and "Are you ok?". For me, even sitting or standing in front of somebody and receiving an intense amount of screaming verbal and emotional "abuse" would be "welcome", instead of the "total silence" here at home, which I have experienced all day long today. It does suck, that despite my trying, I can also not get any other autistic adults over here to play "NERF KERBEROS PANZER COPS VERSUS TERRORISTS" in my own back yard.
What the Hell have I "personally done" since Kindergarten 50 years ago, that "nobody wants to come over to my house to play with me"?
I am feeling rather depressed and frustrated.
These have been my "normal" feelings for something like 50 years straight, and I am a 55 year-old.
What is it like for another person, other than my younger brother to play with?
I have no cognitive understanding of this concept.
Why has everybody in school hated and despised me decades ago, and refused my outstretched "hand of friendship", as a person with Autism and Cerebral Palsy?
Is "solitude" the only experience I will ever have?
I guess this 50 years-long "FUCK YOU THOMAS CHARLES WOOD!!!!! - GO TO HELL!!!!!" is simply "getting to me this evening".