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Living with my inner Baby. The Baby inside of me.

Who am I Really.

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I do not mean who am I by why of personality, I know who that person is.

But who am I biologically.

You would think that every one would know this, we all have a biological mother and father.

Now I am sure who my birth mother is. But I don't think I or any one else has ever been told the truth of who my birth father is. I have been told all my life that it was on of my uncles. There were 16 kids in my moms family. The youngest only lived a few months. There were four boys the rest were girls.

Now the Uncle I have been told in the birth father was in the Army at the time. I do know that in 1951 he went to Korea. The Korean war was going on at the time.

Knowing my four Uncles I don't think any one of them would have gone to bed with one of their sisters.

I think my birth mother blamed my Uncle hoping he would not come back for the war. This may be bad of me thinking this but I have felt this way for a long time.

I have a gut feeling for most of my life that my birth mother got pregnant by some other boy and has said it was my uncle to protect herself or some one else. I do know that she was put in a home for pregnant girls at the time. A nice place to start ones life in, one of those places.

Now because I was adopted at birth my birth certificate was delayed. There is no other birth certificate.

Sorry I do this to myself every time some in my moms family dies, I feel that they are taking a secret with them . There is only one person who really knows and I have not talked to her in 13
years. That would be my birth mother and the last ime I talked to her and ask, she would not look me in the eye.
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Comments

  1. oleman72's Avatar
    That's an answer you'll probably never get unless there could be DNA testing done.
  2. kennyrallen's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by oleman72
    That's an answer you'll probably never get unless there could be DNA testing done.
    You are right about that. Even a DNA Would only answer that one thing I all ready think.

    It is just at times I feel like a dirty family secret. But what I have learned over the years some things just don't match up.
  3. acorn's Avatar
    I don’t profess to have a superior knowledge of this. Have you thought of looking up (researching) the ‘prison’ for pregnant unmarried mothers.

    In Ireland these were called the Magdalene Laundries and were run (usually) by the sisters of charity AKA, little slappers of the poor mouth. The little slappers (in the name of god) inflicted unbelievable hardship and torment upon mother and child alike and made vast financial profit in doing so. Some of the girls were so traumatised they ended their days in psychiatric institutions, a few others committed suicide. Irish infants were regularly sold to wealthy childless couples, as far away as America and Australia.

    Your circumstances has some notable differences: 1/ Location (not so important). 2/ The fact you were not removed from your mother at birth. 3/ Your birth certificate was not illegally doctored to prevent you finding out who your mother is. 4/ You have not been refused access to all records by the institution.

    For fact, you will not find out anything about your parentage from said institution. The information you are looking for is specifically how they treated their inmates. Also what generally was the fate of the children born there, were they adopted? Were the inmates forced to ‘acquiesce’ to adoption as a precondition of their release? You do know that your mothers claim that you were born of incest, by default rendered you undesirable for adoption? Did your mother know how the system worked before it was too late for her and her child? Approach this with an open mind and do not be disappointed either way.

    The information gathered will help you understand something of your mothers mindset. It will also tell you something about society and government back in the day. With some understanding of what exactly your mother went through, you might be better able to relate to her. If you are lucky, your mother might reveal her deepest most guarded secret. Lastly but above all else, remember you are dealing with another’s potentially fragile mind, so [B]take it very fucking easy with her.[/B] You might see that instead of being a dirty little secret [B]your birthright gave cause to a war of attrition.[/B]

    Definition of, slapper; woman of easy virtue.
    Further reference:
    Magdalene asylum . [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalene_Asylum"]Magdalene asylum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/URL]
    Magdalen Society of Philadelphia. [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalen_Society_of_Philadelphia"]Magdalen Society of Philadelphia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/URL]

    Aside: It was the orphanages that scarred my family and hence the emotive speech. Yes I am a caustic fucker, sue me!
  4. caitianx's Avatar
    In my late Mother's extended family, which I and my younger brother are estranged from, there are a lot of "family secrets". I have no information whatsoever on our "real" genetic Maternal Grandfather. My brother & I suspect he had Asperger's Syndrome, and all we know, was that he was locked-away in a mental hospital for most of his adult life.

    Your situation and feelings are not unique, friend.
  5. kennyrallen's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by acorn
    I don’t profess to have a superior knowledge of this. Have you thought of looking up (researching) the ‘prison’ for pregnant unmarried mothers.

    In Ireland these were called the Magdalene Laundries and were run (usually) by the sisters of charity AKA, little slappers of the poor mouth. The little slappers (in the name of god) inflicted unbelievable hardship and torment upon mother and child alike and made vast financial profit in doing so. Some of the girls were so traumatised they ended their days in psychiatric institutions, a few others committed suicide. Irish infants were regularly sold to wealthy childless couples, as far away as America and Australia.

    Your circumstances has some notable differences: 1/ Location (not so important). 2/ The fact you were not removed from your mother at birth. 3/ Your birth certificate was not illegally doctored to prevent you finding out who your mother is. 4/ You have not been refused access to all records by the institution.

    For fact, you will not find out anything about your parentage from said institution. The information you are looking for is specifically how they treated their inmates. Also what generally was the fate of the children born there, were they adopted? Were the inmates forced to ‘acquiesce’ to adoption as a precondition of their release? You do know that your mothers claim that you were born of incest, by default rendered you undesirable for adoption? Did your mother know how the system worked before it was too late for her and her child? Approach this with an open mind and do not be disappointed either way.

    The information gathered will help you understand something of your mothers mindset. It will also tell you something about society and government back in the day. With some understanding of what exactly your mother went through, you might be better able to relate to her. If you are lucky, your mother might reveal her deepest most guarded secret. Lastly but above all else, remember you are dealing with another’s potentially fragile mind, so take it very fucking easy with her. You might see that instead of being a dirty little secret your birthright gave cause to a war of attrition.

    Definition of, slapper; woman of easy virtue.
    Further reference:
    Magdalene asylum . Magdalene asylum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Magdalen Society of Philadelphia. Magdalen Society of Philadelphia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Aside: It was the orphanages that scarred my family and hence the emotive speech. Yes I am a caustic fucker, sue me!
    The institution where I was born no longer around.

    My birth certificate was delayed because I was adopted at birth my birth certificate was not issued until the adoption was final .

    There are the adoption records, but I don't think there is any thing in them that I don't already know.
  6. kennyrallen's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by acorn
    I don’t profess to have a superior knowledge of this. Have you thought of looking up (researching) the ‘prison’ for pregnant unmarried mothers.

    In Ireland these were called the Magdalene Laundries and were run (usually) by the sisters of charity AKA, little slappers of the poor mouth. The little slappers (in the name of god) inflicted unbelievable hardship and torment upon mother and child alike and made vast financial profit in doing so. Some of the girls were so traumatised they ended their days in psychiatric institutions, a few others committed suicide. Irish infants were regularly sold to wealthy childless couples, as far away as America and Australia.

    Your circumstances has some notable differences: 1/ Location (not so important). 2/ The fact you were not removed from your mother at birth. 3/ Your birth certificate was not illegally doctored to prevent you finding out who your mother is. 4/ You have not been refused access to all records by the institution.

    For fact, you will not find out anything about your parentage from said institution. The information you are looking for is specifically how they treated their inmates. Also what generally was the fate of the children born there, were they adopted? Were the inmates forced to ‘acquiesce’ to adoption as a precondition of their release? You do know that your mothers claim that you were born of incest, by default rendered you undesirable for adoption? Did your mother know how the system worked before it was too late for her and her child? Approach this with an open mind and do not be disappointed either way.

    The information gathered will help you understand something of your mothers mindset. It will also tell you something about society and government back in the day. With some understanding of what exactly your mother went through, you might be better able to relate to her. If you are lucky, your mother might reveal her deepest most guarded secret. Lastly but above all else, remember you are dealing with another’s potentially fragile mind, so take it very fucking easy with her. You might see that instead of being a dirty little secret your birthright gave cause to a war of attrition.

    Definition of, slapper; woman of easy virtue.
    Further reference:
    Magdalene asylum . Magdalene asylum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Magdalen Society of Philadelphia. Magdalen Society of Philadelphia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Aside: It was the orphanages that scarred my family and hence the emotive speech. Yes I am a caustic fucker, sue me!
    My birth mother I have talked to, she now my Aunt. It is only the father that I have questions about. I don't think any one but my birth mother knows for sure. If it some other than her brother , she will now take that secret to her grave.
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