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egor

Yet another therapy blog by Egor.

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Once again this is a warning. The following is a therapy practice by Egor and if you do not want to hear the "poor little me" story, then Good by and I will see you in the forums.

Once again I am having a tough time as of late, and since this helps me dump the problems from my mind, I am going to do it again. I do have a therapy session on Wednesday, so I am also starting to organize my thoughts for that too.

I do not know if I have mentioned it but my wife and I are in the process of buying a house. Since we had a bankruptcy four years ago we are being put under a microscope. That part I do not mind, but when they ask for the same document for the fourth time It gets beyond annoying. They have told us at least twice in the last week that we should be scheduling closing in two days only to come back to ask for a repeat document. I took a stack of stuff to them this morning then they turned around and asked for the bank statements again because the last 4 weeks evidently means 31 days not 28.

In the mean time the property management group wants to show the house so they can keep it rented asap. They have been very not nice over the phone and not doing a repair that we have been asking for for a month. We started formal procedures to force the repair, and they finally came out yesterday and talked to me and took pictures. The problem with the whole property management situation is it sets up a triangulation scenario and no one is talking directly to anyone. The property agent finally came out and walked through with me and asked me about the problems with the house and now they are being nicer and making the owner do some of the things that need to be taken care of like the 15 yr old carpet that if you look at it funny it leaves a stain.

Then on top of this I am also starting to pack. I am an organization freak and I do it very methodically so at first it looks like a mess of piles and stacks everywhere that all of a sudden the place is packed and stacked with boxes.

On top of this my kids think all of these boxes are here for them to play with, and do not understand why the house is turned upside down.

I still have a bunch of yard work that has to be done before we leave and my Bone spur is not making things easy.

So woo is me. I am stressed out and doing things as fast as I can and not loose it. That is why I am typing this and doing my grounding exercises. The nice thing was that today I harvested what little I did get planted in the garden and had a nice BBQ T-bone with fresh garden potatoes, onion and garlic baked on the Q.

That should be enough whining for now.

Egor.
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Comments

  1. Marka's Avatar
    Egor,

    I think that it's apparent to many people...the differences between someone flailing about in self-pity (alone)...to one who is using a medium to process issues...even if the only direction is at first expressing the chaos...

    I read this to observe your process, and to distract myself from other things...

    So, in that light...it was helpful to me too...

    Thank you,
    -Marka
  2. zipperless's Avatar
    Mmmm! Steak, potatoes and garlic bread!

    Oh, and as for the other part, I've closed on a house or two and there was one sale that was a nightmare! I feel your pain, bud. Ref is just as bad. But once moved and settled, it will be worth it!
  3. Strontium's Avatar
    I don't see any 'poor little me' in any of this and I can't imagine for one moment that you wouldn't be a bit stressed with all the house upheaval. I'm currently trying to sort though the extensive amount of stuff in the family home ready for selling the house next year but I can only imagine the stress and difficulty of having your family living among the boxes.
  4. acorn's Avatar
    This caught my attention.[QUOTE]On top of this my kids think all of these boxes are here for them to play with, and do not understand why the house is turned upside down.[/QUOTE]They are only young once and all too soon they are gone out of the nest. Also, maybe [I]there is something in their approach[/I] to it all - that [I]you should emulate[/I]. Best of luck.
  5. Maxx's Avatar
    Yep. and you're wasting half your day looking for common items that aren't in their usual places.

    All whining justified....
  6. kerry's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by acorn
    This caught my attention.They are only young once and all too soon they are gone out of the nest. Also, maybe there is something in their approach to it all - that you should emulate. Best of luck.
    You know, acorn may have a point. Play is a huge stress reliever. Why not join the kids and play with the boxes for a little while? I'll bet they'd get a huge kick out if it too?
  7. egor's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by ICkaraokegirl
    You know, acorn may have a point. Play is a huge stress reliever. Why not join the kids and play with the boxes for a little while? I'll bet they'd get a huge kick out if it too?

    Boy talk about practice what you preach.

    You guys are right

    1) My first reaction was anger, but then I did do what I have said in so many threads and did my Q-tip.

    2) I already see that they are growing so fast.

    3)This brings up a whole other level that I need to talk to my therapist about. I have mentioned it in a thread about regrets a while back, and I have been talking to my wife about it. But I seriously do not know how to stop to play with my kids. I take things way to serious and focus to hard on something at time (it is part of the compulsive part of my ADD), and I where never allowed to "play" when I was little. We moved from LA to the farm in Oregon when I was 7. My brothers got to have time with our cousins when they were little but then my Aunt and Uncle moved to Oregon when I started school. Then my parents where real strict when we moved onto the farm and everything was work oriented after that. If we were not doing chores then we where suppose to be doing other projects. Of course I was the youngest so everything got dumped on me by my brothers and I had to help them do there chores first then did mine afterwords. So while they watched TV, I did the weeding in the garden and just got into the habit of making play out of work. So I would pick wild berries so Mom would make Jam when she could, walked fence lines, or walk the fields for stuff with my wagon and sort it just for "fun" things to do.
    So the outcome at this point in my life is I make a daily to do list that hard to finish, and it I do stop to play with the kids I go into a self-abuse mode because I did not get something done because I "goofed" off instead of working. My wife brings it to my attention that this is what I am being irritable about and then I have to do my grounding therapy and cognitive retraining skills to get past it. All of this takes so long that the final coping skill wines up getting Diapered for bed so I can do my "Little" meditation and dump the adult trash from my mind, so I can reboot for the next day.

    I think this is why I identify with Michael Bryson's "Redemption" short film so much. I was Diaper Disciplined as a kid (but not to that extent) and it is the "THINGS" that your parents did to you as a kid, that bring us back to the "Paraphilic Infantilism" to cope with the things we were not allowed to do as a child.
  8. Maxx's Avatar
    Kids and grandkids are such a great excuse to enjoy guilty pleasures. Like Legos, paper airplanes and Velveteen Rabbit.
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