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In Defense of Incontinence Desire: Addendum

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I looked over my previous posts on the subject and while they went into sufficient detail, I still feel there's more I need to cover. There's more material people need to understand and educate themselves about so I thought an addendum to my original trilogy was necessary. So I present to you:

In Defense of Incontinence Desire: Addendum

Part 1: The Semantics Game

I have noticed a general game of semantics regarding IC desire. not all people make this distinction but I feel enough people do to make this worth pointing out. Many people differentiate "diaper training" from trying to become incontinent. To them "diaper dependent" and "incontinent" mean two very different things. Not all who are incontinent are diaper dependent as many use other options, but I would say a significant amount use diapers. Many people seem dead set against trying to become incontinent but are at best accepting and supportive of and at worst indifferent to the concept of "diaper training" because they view the two as separate black and white things.

I find this distinction at worst, outright false, and at best misguided and oversimplified. Many think of incontinence in only the physical sense while unaware of the possibility of a mental component in incontinence that many seem to be missing. one type of medically defined incontinence tackles this issue very well and clearly addresses a mental component. It's called functional incontinence. "Functional incontinence is a form of urinary incontinence in which a person is aware of the need to urinate, but for one or more physical or mental reason they are unable to get to a bathroom" (paraphrased on Wikipedia from website) It also directly addresses both mental and physical components in the following excerpt: "There are a number of causes of functional incontinence. These include confusion, dementia, poor eyesight, impaired mobility or dexterity or unwillingness to use the toilet due to depression or anxiety."(paraphrased on Wikipedia from Also notice how the "12 Month Diaper Training Program" (yes I'm talking about that), directly refers to functional incontinence.

There is also Urge Incontinence which is often associated with overactive bladder. here's where the mental part kicks in. This form of mental retraining which seems under heated debate whether i can or can't cause any sort of loss of control may very well lead to some form of overactive bladder. The following excerpt from a nursing manual says this:

"Deconditioning of the voiding reflex can result in incontinence through self-induced or iatrogenic causes. Frequent toileting (more than every 2h) causes chronic low-volume voiding, which reduces bladder capacity and increases detrusor tone and bladder wall thickness, which, in turn, potentiate incontinent episodes."
~~Nursing Diagnosis: Application to Clinical Practice by Lynda Juall Carpenito-Moyet, page 719.

As you can see, there has to be come sort of mental component tncontinence that not many are picking up on.

This concludes part 1.

Part 2: BIID/IC Desire is not a Sin

This may be just me, and things may have changed since the last time I chimed in on a thread about IC desire that was not started by me (about 3 years ago). But I notice a rift in the AB/DL community between those who actually are IC and those who desire IC, regardless of whether it's a phase or a genuine case of BIID for that individual. A rift that has been alleviated to a degree on the site, DD (Daily Diapers) by separating the Incontinence forum into two subcategories, Medical and Desires, a move I strongly encourage ADISC to replicate. In fact, I feel as a whole DD is a site I strongly encourage ADISC to observe and learn from. Not all people who are IC have this reservation and not all AB/DLs themselves have this reservation, but if we are to progress as a community we have to act more and more like one. That means there should be no infighting, rifts, or divisions in a community that is meant to be wholly united. This site and DD act very much like a community, but there's always room for improvement, no community is perfect.

If we want progress and succeed as a community we have to accept that the difference between each individual is not a sin and we need to accept them for who they are. We don't have to agree with them, but we should at least try our best to accept and support them.

This concludes part 2.

Part 3 (Conclusion): Mutual Understanding

I think the most important step into mending the rift in the community and uniting as we should be is to have a mutual understanding for each other. We need to be able to feel empathy for our fellow man. This goes doubly so between people with real disabilities and those with BIID. As a community both sides need to come together and be able to say "Yeah, I know it sucks and your situation sucks just as much for you as mine does for me" and then be able to say "How can I help?" On one side we have people who feel their disability diminishes their quality of life and would give anything be rid of it and on the other, you have people who feel their very quality of life is diminished due to the lack of a disability. What we need is for both sides to come together and realize that the situation sucks for both sides. No matter how you frame it, BOTH sides are getting screwed. Both sides need to be able understand each other first and why each side feels the way they do, and then be able to come together and think of way to help each others. Besides, isn't that what a community is all about?

If we want society to accept the differences in us as a whole, we first need to accept the differences within ourselves.

I may be just a dreamer, but dreamers have a reason to exist. If a world where everyone understands each other is a dream then I don't wanna wake up.

This concludes part 3 and the entire post.

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