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caitianx

Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#4

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I apologize for my own narrative "self-analysis" these last few days...

As an older "Adult Baby" with disabilities, I am as a person who has a sense of "balance" to meeting my "Adult Baby" desires/needs.

Bedtimes and Nap Times are when I "fully regress into "infancy".

it is late Wednesday morning and a short time ago I woke up, got myself cleaned up, diapered and dressed for the day.

Getting out of my bed is physically difficult.

Many times I simply lower myself onto the floor holding onto one of my side-safety rails, and I "bunny and crawl" like an infant in my flooded nighttime diaper and plastic pants into the bathroom to clean myself up, diaper and dress myself.

For me, it is "safer" to sit on the floor to dress myself and to put my AFO Leg Braces/Sneakers on, and I then "roll over" and "bunny" and then grasping my Loftstrand Crutches, using my "arm strength", I push really hard to "stand".

Probably there are persons who do not like this, but in my bedroom, my mattress does not have any "sheets" on it. I simply lie on a re-usable bed pad over which I place a disposable bed pad.

At the "head" of my bed, I have my "bedtime" soft plush cuddle friends.

One of my soft cuddle friends, is my "Baby Dolly" friend. Her name is "Precious". I hug her all night, every single night and she "protects me" from "Childhood Abuse PTSD Memory 'Bad' Dreams".

In one corner of my bedroom, I have a big collection of plush cuddle friends.

Lots of soft plush horses.

Plus other assorted plush cuddle friends.

Another part of my "little" side, is that I am an avid collector of diecast toy cars and trucks and toy guns.

Every day, when I can, I "take time to play".

Growing up with a psychotic mentally-ill parent, my Mother, lots of times, I simply "could not take time to play", when she was screaming at me and hitting me.

When I play with my toys now, I am "very happy".

I do not care what anyone else thinks of me when I mutely play with my toy cars and trucks and my toy guns.

If other people have a problem, it is "their problem".
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Comments

  1. kennyrallen's Avatar
    You have nothing to be sorry about. As another older AB, I might say Adult and baby because that is what I 'm.

    Mine are not visible disabilities so it hard for some to understand about mine. The bladder IC i have dealt with all my life. The bed wetting and the pants wetting. The Epilepsy was not found until latter in my life. The Autism was found early but not dealt with properly. Schools just wanted to push me threw with out giving me the help I needed.

    We who have struggled know how we can best deal with our needs. It is hard for others who have no knowledge of these to understand them.
  2. Paxy's Avatar
    You should not be sorry at all! Ever. Writing helps heal.

    I have cerebral palsy as well. Mild forms of Spastic and Ataxic. There's a name for having more than one and that escapes me right now, but I completely understand about the moving issues. I sit on the floor to get dressed too, or at least in a chair and I ALWAYS have to use my arms on a table or counter or something to stand again. I had to use all my savings to buy a wheelchair because the forearm crutch just doesn't give enough support to my hips and legs on the really bad days.

    Personally, I think its FANTASTIC that you play with your toys! You should! As much as possible, whenever you can! Everyone should play!
    I have lots of plushies too, coloring books, and LEGOS.

    Far as your bed? I say that makes perfect sense! Sheets are really hard to get on mattresses without help. Especially when you have CP like we do. Lots of times I've gotten my friends to help with my bed-making (since when mom visits, she gets mad if she sees I've been sleeping on the floor). I just leave the bed made and sleep on the floor or couch usually. You can't roll off the floor.
  3. caitianx's Avatar
    Eventually, I myself will purchase a wheelchair for myself for "very long distance" mobility with my Cerebral Palsy.
  4. kennyrallen's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by TCWWITHAUTISMANDCP
    Eventually, I myself will purchase a wheelchair for myself for "very long distance" mobility with my Cerebral Palsy.
    I do have to ask if you do have workers that work with you. I'm wondering why no one has gotten you a wheel chair by now. With your disabilities I would think that you could get one with No cost to you.
  5. WildThing121675's Avatar
    Sounds like you have found a way to cope with having CP and all- I have CP myself but I take solace in my sports, video games and model ships I build. I also play baby sometimes but not as much as I used to because I have never been one for lonely AB play- sounds like you have found a way to cope with it all.

    I don't use canes, walkers or anything but I do have bad back issues, leg issues and sometimes my legs just don't want to work right- especially when I'm tired, hungover or just have been on them a long period of time. I cope by watching a lot of NFL football, baseball, writing, drawing and my model kits I like to build.

    Baby play can be a great way to deal with the issues of the past and whatever health issues you have in life... sounds like you have found a way to cope with it all.
  6. LilCoyote's Avatar
    We all have our medical conditions that we have to deal with. Mine are depression and some arthritis. Fortunately, mine are under control. Sounds like you've got a system for dealing with your conditions, so good for you.

    As for both the medical conditions and the playing, just do what feels right and what needs to be done to keep you healthy, both phsically and mentally.

    Me and my plushie, Cuddles, send lots of hugs your way.
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