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Feel a bit better now, but there's always tomorrow

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So basically the woman who gave birth to me thought her job as a parent should have ended a long time ago, and from the sound of it, if she had her way it would have been some time after toilet training.

A BIG sticking point is the fact that I keep my bedroom door closed while everyone in the house has theirs open, for they have nothing to hide. I on the other hand, in her words I haven't uttered an honest word since I was 3

A bit of background on myself; I have Asperger's with a comorbid of ADHD and I have the typical aspie issues with some sounds and smells, but a big one that causes friction is I re-wear (my 'big boy') clothes. Really, I've tried harder to work on this recently since it's been complained about the most, and while I'm trying to focus on that, something else comes along to give them a reason to dump on me. I spend the day in constant fear and anxiety whenever I have to be at the house along with everyone else, which they see as anger.

Where I'm at is after receiving another session of "if you don't start making some grown-up decisions, they're going to be made FOR you". Last week it was being threatened to be placed under conservatorship after stressing me out during an emergency home repair I botched when they spent the day breathing down my neck. This week is "maybe you'd be happier living somewhere else" (I probably would, I know they would, for a few days until they called crying for my forgiveness, as the pattern goes). By 'they' I mean Nurse Ratchet (my mother) and my toadie younger butterball brother

My goal is to leave on my terms, and I want it to take effect when they least expect it, which requires putting on the best mask of my life and playing the part to a T, and of course having a decent nest egg to hit the ground running. At the moment I've got a bunch of STUFF, a $50 bill stashed away, 2 pet birds, 2 clients' mopeds nearly ready to be picked up, and my grandmother's place I can hide out at for a while, but 60 miles away from my client base, when I do have clients. I've been dreaming of having Momster come home from her vacation on 6-21 to see no trace of me, and nobody to tell her where I went, give her the mindfvcking of a lifetime for all the ones I've gotten. One can dream
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Comments

  1. KimbaStarshine's Avatar
    I can relate to this a little bit. A current sticking point I have with my father is that I cannot find empoyment. He'll ask me randomingly "have you looked for a job today?" He'll even go online and do it for me, which I hate. The worst is the smart-a** comments. Like when I say I need my medicine refilled he'll say ''have you cashed your paycheck?"
  2. Adventurer's Avatar
    I'm sorry things are so rotten right now. It can't be ready to deal with nonstop anxiety from everywhere. I know I'd be pretty mad to have people saying those sorts of things to me.

    It's good that you're at least hearing's their complaints and trying to work with them. Overall, do you think you will be able to please them, and is it worth the effort? I always try to make others happy, but at some point (like your own mental well-being), it's not your job anymore. Only you know for sure, do don't just take my advice, but if your family wants you to take more independence, it may be a good idea to look into a place of your own. You may all end up happier - and you won't have others breathing down your neck all the time!

    However, I would let your family know what you plan to do first. If you just up and leave, you will be burning a bridge with them - which may not seem like a big deal now, but could be later. Shooting the maturity to let your family know will also give them that much more respect for you.

    It's a tough situation, but I know you'll find a solution. Whatever you cost, good luck and know that you've got a support community behind you on here!
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