My AB/DL story!
by, 24-Mar-2013 at 08:32 (660 Views)
Hey Maybe someone will read this, maybe someone won't.
I've been lounging around my dorm room all day in an Abena M4. I was hoping to save them because I only have three left here in my dorm (a few are left at home, so I'm not completely dry), but I'm already on my last one. I decided to go ahead and order a case of Bambino Teddys, so we'll see how it goes
I guess I'll just spill my whole AB/DL story and see if anyone finds it interesting Here goes nothing.
My first recollection of ever wanting diapers was when I was about 5 or 6. The family living next door to my family in suburban Austin had a daughter around the age of 2. She was still in diapers, and I recall wanting to hold her (as any person would hold a baby/small child) just so I could feel her diaper. I know that sounds pedophiliac, but to young me it didn't seem weird at all. It was just a weird desire, as odd as hunger or sleep.
My second recollection was around the age of seven. I was with my friend from next door (on the other side, not the little girl from before) and my brother, who is two years younger than me. I caught sight of our old diaper bag, which was on the top of our closet shelf. I told my brother and friend we should try and get the bag down, which led to quite the quest, considering our height compared to that of the shelf. We stacked a couple stools on one another, and I climbed to the top and grabbed the bag. Inside was one diaper, which alas wouldn't fit me. It did fit my brother though, so he went to the bathroom and put it on, and jokingly walked into the kitchen to shock my mom. I highly doubt he's AB/DL as well, but rather just did it as a joke.
That really concludes my diaper experiences from childhood. My next recollection is just from puberty during middle school and early high school. I'd have dreams about diapers, and wake up desiring to be in a diaper, and have no idea why. I'd have like week long periods of having these desires, and then life would return to 'normal'.
For me, my sexuality entirely circulates around diapers. Another person could be involved, but my peak of sexual desire is being in a diaper. Because of this, I don't consider my DLism just kink, because it'd not something I wanna do alongside normal sexual activities. While I can participate in normal sexual activities with others, diapers are my main sexuality. Despite this, I do have a slight attraction to men, with no attraction to women whatsoever. This is why I consider myself gay.
Around the beginning of puberty, my wet dreams didn't consist of myself with another person, they were about diapers. Sometimes they'd involve me and another person in diapers, or a friend seeing my in diapers. But 100% of the time I had a wet dream, diapers were involved.
It wasn't until my sophomore year in high school that I made the connection that my sexuality didn't involve people. I had always been suppressing this desire to be in diapers, so much so that I hardly noticed it. It wasn't until a couple days before Christmas my sophomore year that it all finally came out.
That following semester was the worst time of my life. I hated myself, I couldn't sleep. You know the feeling: that feeling of emptiness, that the direction you thought your life would go (wife, kids) wouldn't happen. The thought of never being able to give my parents grandkids and being a disappointment to my parents just killed me. I contemplated suicide, even held a knife to my neck one night. I just couldn't bear the thought of my life turning out like this. And what's worse, I just kept this bottle up to myself. I thought it was my problem, so I had to deal with it myself. Looking back, it probably would have been better if I had just talked to someone about my problems, online or offline. Just a person to hear me instead of keeping the thoughts reverberating around my head.
Luckily, that summer things changed. I read other people's stories online, how they had gotten through things and accepted that they were different. Eventually I came to do the same. The summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school was revolutionary in how I viewed myself. I began to accept that this was a part of me, and if it made me feel happy then so be it.
That was also the summer I finally got my driver's license, so I was able to drive out and buy my first diapers. The first pack I ever bought was a size six huggies from the CVS down the road from my house. Had to use two, and it barely fit around my waist, but it worked for me.
Later on in high school, I was able to try different kinds of diapers. I'm 30" waist, so I was able to fit into goodnites, and eventually I discovered Walgreens had a brand of adult diapers that I'd go buy.
Once left for college, I stopped wearing for a while. I was scared as hell that my roommate would find out, so I didn't wear diapers at all my first semester. This semester, I made a resolution to start branching out. I bought my first pack of diapers online: Bambino classicos. I absolutely loved them! After those, I bought a onesie online, as well as a case of M4s.