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Luca

ABDL: Open vs. Closed

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Let me tell you all a little story. Forgive the prologue.

Throughout my latter childhood and early adulthood I have had the wonderful fortitude of being surrounded by people who are incredibly open-minded. Pretty much every true friend I've had in my everyday life I've felt I can trust with sharing the knowledge of my ABDL tendencies. I've not told all of those I've befriended. However, I have told a significant amount of friends over the years. All of them, bar none, have been incredibly understanding. Many of them showing genuine interest. Some going as far as to share their own kinky secrets with me, to which I feel honoured.

I believe that ABDL is a part of me, but by no means the most significant part of me. To believe that, would be to invite it to swallow my personality and character whole. But, it is a part of me I have long since accepted nonetheless. So, to understand and be close to me fully, I feel truly great friends deserve to know as much of the real me as functionally possible. How much I tell them is dependent on where their own personal limits lie. A personal choice, down to me to construct and subtly manipulate as I see fit. In a nutshell: it depends person to person.

A few weeks ago I had this choice taken away from me. And, might I add, for the first time.

I find prospective friend's personal limits are constructed from their personal preconceptions of what ABDL is, mixed with their own fears. Additionally, I have discovered that because people's exposure to ABDL is usually so very limited, it is easy to talk to them at length and guide them through how I, as a unique individual on this earth, perceive ABDL. This way, without fail, they have always understood my reasoning, my mentality and come away from the conversation feeling like they've been allowed a peek into something quite special and personal to me.

Two weeks ago, I was out drinking with a new-ish friend. She's a college buddy, one who's open-minded, bubbly and intelligent. She knows I'm gay, and we'd been swapping personal stories for most of the evening. Getting to know each other a lot better which is one of my favourite past-times - new people are exciting! We'd both brought up sex at different points of the evening. And both hinting at the marvelously wonderful and diverse world of kink - at this point I am 100% sure she is kinky in some way and vice versa - I'm sure she knows that I am too.

We continue to get drunker to the point that she comes back to mine and the subject is broached again. She's desperately trying to pry my secret from me, but to no avail. I'm playing hard to get. And then she says something that sends be reeling, "As long as you're not one of those fucking creepy adult babies." I've never heard anyone say anything like that to me before. And then I press her and make her think I might be, double bluffing into making it look like an obvious joke and she says,"Me and [BF] watched that fucking awful documentary, what's it called...", at which point I chime in, "15 Stone Babies". "That's the one! I watched it all the way through, I've never been more disturbed in my life."

The most horrific thing is that, I stood there agreeing with her. Not just verbally agreeing to pretend that I am what I'm not. But mentally agreeing with her.

Those featured on that documentary are the extremes of our community. People with very little restraint. Those I would say, that have allowed ABDL to swallow their personalities almost whole. In fact, they represent everything I find repugnant about our community. And my new friend had misguided preconceived notions of what ABDL is because of those fuck-tards. They'd collectively removed the decision which I had taken for granted for so long.

What is this obsession with AB pride? We are not LGBTQ. We are all incredibly diverse in our like and dislikes. Standing as a group has it's place when fighting persecution and for rights, but who's persecuting us/what rights have been taken away? Battling for acceptance must be done on an individual basis. We must all, by ourselves, talk to our friends and families. Because ABDL is by every definition an individual experience tailored to you! No documentary, regardless of its intentions will ever summarise your special connection to ABDL. No t-shirts will empower you to be a man/woman and let those that you love into your life. And, if we let other extreme ends of communities do the talking for us, we're all going to have this opportunity taken away from us in the future. Can you not imagine anything worse?

So as my parting message, I'm going to those of you who, as a group, wish to have any kind of ABDL pride - in any form, to kindly go fuck yourselves . I don't usually resort to profanity. In fact I think it's quite unbecoming, especially online. It is not meant as a personal insult, but much more an expression of my utter dis-contempt of the situation. Perhaps I'm getting old and turning into a grumpy old man, but I hope you can see why I felt I needed to say that.

You have no right to remove my ability to come out as an ABDL to people. And, if you've read this post carefully enough, perhaps you can all see now why you're doing much more harm than good.

I wait your comments and a good discussion .

(PS I originally posted this elsewhere - but felt it deserved to be blogged)

Updated 21-Mar-2013 at 23:16 by Luca

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  1. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    To be honest, even though I understand where you are coming from as generally there doesn't need to be worldwide LOVE for this and people don't NEED to run around in AB colors and full diapers... I still found your harsh language, general aura of agreeing with others/saying yourself that people who have decided for themselves how to live their life differently then you is creepy and calling them f**kt**rds because of it, and general sense of not trying to empathize why someone would want to be no longer ashamed and to be able to be just "discovered" without fear really disheartening. Just because they want to be open about it doesn't inherently connect you with it, and other people making those connections isn't inherently their fault. Of course there is other factors to this, but your post was pretty general so I left my feelings the same.

    It feels not supportive at all to speak in such a way to me, sort of gives off a vibe that there is only one way to "feel" about being an AB/DL, and seems like rather easy to hurt someone's feelings.

    TL;DR: I don't like the concept of telling good people to f**k off.
    Updated 22-Mar-2013 at 20:12 by gigglemuffinz (First version of this post was awful, corrected my points to better explain my problem with this post.)
  2. MsClara's Avatar
    I don't know if the people in '15 Stone Babies' really HAVE allowed their personalities to be swallowed up by ABDL, after all the only thing we got to see of them was their ABness - we don't know what they're like off-camera and not in nappies. In any case, you'll never get people who are normal, balanced, charming, successful and ABDL to appear on camera because they have too much to lose. It's not just that it's a kink, and people normally keep those secret. After all, if you read the right sort for lefty, feministy type blogs you'll see people writing in their own name for the whole internet to see that they like BDSM. It's the fact that it's a kink that makes you look RIDICULOUS.... and in the public imagination, a bit of a peado. So the people who go on TV are the people who have nothing to lose. Most of the people on 15 Stone where sex workers, one way or another (and nothing wrong with that) so for them it's free advertising.

    I think coming out to your friends the way you do, and the way I have done in a similar way, is a good thing. If I can quote Harvey Milk - without being in favour of ABDL Pride - "they vote for us ten to one, if they know they know one of us."
    If people get to know you, like you, trust you, and then find out that you're ABDL it's not a huge deal. If we're just some freaks on TV, then well, we're freaks on TV. I'm not sure that if you get to know this woman better, and then in a few months you tell her that in fact you are ABDL she wouldn't react in the same way your other friends have. The first person I told had already heard of ABDL, because she'd seen a news item about Stanley and his troubles, but she was perfectly accepting of me, and we've only become closer friends since.

    If being ABDL is making you ashamed, or you feel people are mocking it, then I guess it's natural to want to react with a self affirming ABDL Pride. Gay Pride started because although no longer illegal, the public attitude towards gay people was "ridiculous and disgusting." 40 years later, society is far more liberated and accepting about sexuality. I understand why people might want a piece of that. Especially young people. I think that even though you're 24 and I'm 25, we are on the wrong side of the generation gap. Today's under-20s have grown up in a culture that is completely dominated by social networking and reality TV, their education has nearly all been post-Section 28, their parents are more liberal. It's natural for them to casually announce the petty details of their lives to anyone who'll listen. If they had another hobby that took up the time and attention that ABDL takes up for them, they'd tell people about it. They also have the practical concern of hiding it from their parents while living at home.

    I agree with you: individual acceptance, guarding your privacy, this is the thing to do - but there are powerful cultural forces that push against it.
  3. Luca's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz
    To be honest, even though I understand where you are coming from as generally there doesn't need to be worldwide LOVE for this and people don't NEED to run around in AB colors and full diapers... I still found your harsh language, general aura of agreeing with others/saying yourself that people who have decided for themselves how to live their life differently then you is creepy and calling them f**kt**rds because of it, and general sense of not trying to empathize why someone would want to be no longer ashamed and to be able to be just "discovered" without fear really disheartening. Just because they want to be open about it doesn't inherently connect you with it, and other people making those connections isn't inherently their fault. Of course there is other factors to this, but your post was pretty general so I left my feelings the same.
    I never called anyone creepy. My friend did. It just so happens that I also find "15 Stone Babies" to be an ABDL public-image nightmare. I called those involved with "15-stone Babies" fuck-tards btw. Not the whole group who are in support of an open ABDL community. It doesn't matter the intentions of the people were involved with the documentary though. It's the reality that they've helped to create that effects us all. They had the choice. The choice they made removed a choice that I might've had. Live and let live simply does not apply - unless you're a pushover and actively avoid confrontation. Am I not entitled to passionately tell them how they've had a detrimental and negative effect on my life?


    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz
    It feels not supportive at all to speak in such a way to me, sort of gives off a vibe that there is only one way to "feel" about being an AB/DL, and seems like rather easy to hurt someone's feelings.

    TL;DR: I don't like the concept of telling good people to f**k off.
    You have, it seems, chosen to see only the small sections of my post that are slightly inflammatory and concentrated on those. If you read most of my posts, they are all designed to give back to a community that once gave me so much. I pride myself on choosing to respond the most difficult subjects with the most desperate problems. I say a lot of this, with all of us in mind. If I didn't care about our community, I wouldn't be posting on here, in fact I would very much be an offline ABDL nowadays. So, calling me un-supportive in such a broad sense... well that's a novelty!

    I cannot ignore the creation of an ABDL public image that is damaging our personal lives little by little. That is both the lazy and cowards way out. I live and let live more than most. I couldn't have been exposed to such wonder and variation in life without having that trait in my character. But I am no pansy. I have spirit, I have passion and I have opinions. Passively allowing the world to continue as is, is the main reason we have so many a thing wrong with this world. You're not going to persuade me on this one.

    I thought over how to express myself, when summarising and concluding, for quite some time. I thought about how best to express my anger, and the frustration that's been building towards this group of people for quite some time. In retrospect I might reconsider my decision, yet again (the amount of times I edited that section of my last post). The name-calling was not something I included lightly.

    But, the feeling the profanity expresses should be there regardless. I'm upset. Angry at those who have the ability and intellect to perceive the harm they are doing, but continue anyway. And, frustrated at those who lack the ability to understand, live in ignorance, and don't want to understand, but do want to misguidedly fight for an unjust cause anyway.

    Calling the those involved with the "15 Stone Babies" doc fuck-tards, has made me feel immensely better, as has telling the group as a whole, to "kindly go fuck themselves". But more to the point, it brings a certain gravitas and passion to that mini-essay above me, that wouldn't be there otherwise. It has it's place I think.
    Updated 22-Mar-2013 at 23:13 by Luca
  4. Luca's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by MsClaraRiddle
    I don't know if the people in '15 Stone Babies' really HAVE allowed their personalities to be swallowed up by ABDL, after all the only thing we got to see of them was their ABness - we don't know what they're like off-camera and not in nappies. In any case, you'll never get people who are normal, balanced, charming, successful and ABDL to appear on camera because they have too much to lose. It's not just that it's a kink, and people normally keep those secret. After all, if you read the right sort for lefty, feministy type blogs you'll see people writing in their own name for the whole internet to see that they like BDSM. It's the fact that it's a kink that makes you look RIDICULOUS.... and in the public imagination, a bit of a peado. So the people who go on TV are the people who have nothing to lose. Most of the people on 15 Stone where sex workers, one way or another (and nothing wrong with that) so for them it's free advertising.
    I had a long chat with one of the main ABs featured in the documentary. On this forum in fact. He's of the opinion that every corner of his life should be informed of his ABDL nature. Also, that everyone should know that he's a little boy and should treat him as such. That he should be allowed to act this out anywhere and everywhere. This is not the kind of spokesman I would choose for our community. Would you?



    Quote Originally Posted by MsClaraRiddle
    I think coming out to your friends the way you do, and the way I have done in a similar way, is a good thing. If I can quote Harvey Milk - without being in favour of ABDL Pride - "they vote for us ten to one, if they know they know one of us."
    If people get to know you, like you, trust you, and then find out that you're ABDL it's not a huge deal. If we're just some freaks on TV, then well, we're freaks on TV. I'm not sure that if you get to know this woman better, and then in a few months you tell her that in fact you are ABDL she wouldn't react in the same way your other friends have. The first person I told had already heard of ABDL, because she'd seen a news item about Stanley and his troubles, but she was perfectly accepting of me, and we've only become closer friends since.

    If being ABDL is making you ashamed, or you feel people are mocking it, then I guess it's natural to want to react with a self affirming ABDL Pride. Gay Pride started because although no longer illegal, the public attitude towards gay people was "ridiculous and disgusting." 40 years later, society is far more liberated and accepting about sexuality. I understand why people might want a piece of that. Especially young people. I think that even though you're 24 and I'm 25, we are on the wrong side of the generation gap. Today's under-20s have grown up in a culture that is completely dominated by social networking and reality TV, their education has nearly all been post-Section 28, their parents are more liberal. It's natural for them to casually announce the petty details of their lives to anyone who'll listen. If they had another hobby that took up the time and attention that ABDL takes up for them, they'd tell people about it. They also have the practical concern of hiding it from their parents while living at home.

    I agree with you: individual acceptance, guarding your privacy, this is the thing to do - but there are powerful cultural forces that push against it.
    Agreed. I can understand that. I understand that a lot of those in support of ABDL pride, are naive, fragile and often young individuals within the community that are in need of support. But, they're also in need of exposure to new and differing opinions. Growing up is at least partially about being challenged I think!

    There are those however, that should know better - but are weak people who've allowed ABDL to affect almost every area of their being. And with it comes self-righteousness at the extreme end of the spectrum within our community. This leads to a poor public perception when they decide to take up our mantle. That's where my frustration and some anger lies ;3. It's much less so with misguided teens. I was one not so long ago~
  5. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    That's why I included agreed with just because.. I know it's different, but if you agreeing with someone who says they are creepy then aren't you kinda saying the same thing? I get now that might not have been your intention, but with what limited information I have, admitting this is (UNFORTUNATELY, I HATE STARTING RELATIONSHIPS OF ANY KIND THIS WAY) our first real interaction. I really didn't wanna pick at the things that sort of hurt but remember I'm coming into 'you' rather new. This is my first impression of you and I just..

    Those people, the hardcore and I will admit extreme people on these TV shows... They get so much of hate from our community as well when I all I want to give them is my sympathy and understanding. I understand they have unintentionally gave us a bad name, but that was never their intent, it wasn't what they wanted. So when I see such intense language, even intelligent decidedly and purposeful language... I just put myself in their shoes. What if I was one of those people on here for support? I mean, it's bad enough the world sees them as sickos but we here on ADISC are so harsh to them as well sometimes... I can't go almost an entire thread without seeing Stanley or anyone else not treated as if they are the worst people of all time. I feel like they deserve to feel loved and be supported. I can understand on some level myself even, why it would be lovely to live in whatever way felt most happy to you all the time.. and just not care, and just want to reach out to people all the same.

    I feel like the anger, however justified and carefully chosen.. still is written without any sort of feeling that you understand where they were coming from. Of course you spent a large amount of time explaining in a very intelligent and well-written way WHY you've come to this conclusion and justifying the feelings you are most certainly entitled to. I never wanted to say you weren't entitled to express whatever. I understand full well, because you are good at explaining, why you have come to feel these things and I never wanted to say you can't be angry I just.. the understanding of them wasn't written in this post and that was all I had seen. That might be all they had seen too, and someone new to you might just be really hurt by your intense language.

    I feel sad for the ones that might have been on the receiving end of this kinda post in general. I imagine a 24/7 lifestyler 'me' who comes on to be with people who she felt would understand her, only to hear how much everyone is blaming her for the bad name of the community. Maybe I made a mistake a let a TV show film me, but all I've gotten since then was ridicule and hate from now EVERYONE, even the broader AB/DL community. When I never wanted to do that, I never wanted to make life harder for anyone. I just wanted to be myself.

    I know, that's the sweetest and cutest idea of what one of those "could be" but.. I always am worried that person exists. That we are making them sad. So I always try hard to let people know that though I disagree with you, I want to support you. Because in the end I still believe we are in this together.

    I'm sorry for nitpicking your post and making you feel bad for your anger, I guess I was just.. sort of sad. I admit that I like never use language, I even censored it in my response as you noticed.. which means I see it as extremely powerful. Things that hurt me bad, and I guess because I can only think like me.. I dunno. I'm really sorry. I feel bad for making you feel like I was trying to say you weren't entitled to your anger and I never wanted to say you were unsupportive in a broad sense. I just felt this post rang of a real sense of lacking support for those that you have chosen to be angry at. I guess it's a lot to expect that you support people who caused you pain.. but...

    I dunno, I feel bad in general. Hopefully I explained in this too long comment why I felt the way I did, but please let me know if you still have issues. I really want to reach a level of understanding, I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to demonize you.
  6. Luca's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz
    That's why I included agreed with just because.. I know it's different, but if you agreeing with someone who says they are creepy then aren't you kinda saying the same thing? I get now that might not have been your intention, but with what limited information I have, admitting this is (UNFORTUNATELY, I HATE STARTING RELATIONSHIPS OF ANY KIND THIS WAY) our first real interaction. I really didn't wanna pick at the things that sort of hurt but remember I'm coming into 'you' rather new. This is my first impression of you and I just..

    Those people, the hardcore and I will admit extreme people on these TV shows... They get so much of hate from our community as well when I all I want to give them is my sympathy and understanding. I understand they have unintentionally gave us a bad name, but that was never their intent, it wasn't what they wanted. So when I see such intense language, even intelligent decidedly and purposeful language... I just put myself in their shoes. What if I was one of those people on here for support? I mean, it's bad enough the world sees them as sickos but we here on ADISC are so harsh to them as well sometimes... I can't go almost an entire thread without seeing Stanley or anyone else not treated as if they are the worst people of all time. I feel like they deserve to feel loved and be supported. I can understand on some level myself even, why it would be lovely to live in whatever way felt most happy to you all the time.. and just not care, and just want to reach out to people all the same.

    I feel like the anger, however justified and carefully chosen.. still is written without any sort of feeling that you understand where they were coming from. Of course you spent a large amount of time explaining in a very intelligent and well-written way WHY you've come to this conclusion and justifying the feelings you are most certainly entitled to. I never wanted to say you weren't entitled to express whatever. I understand full well, because you are good at explaining, why you have come to feel these things and I never wanted to say you can't be angry I just.. the understanding of them wasn't written in this post and that was all I had seen. That might be all they had seen too, and someone new to you might just be really hurt by your intense language.

    I feel sad for the ones that might have been on the receiving end of this kinda post in general. I imagine a 24/7 lifestyler 'me' who comes on to be with people who she felt would understand her, only to hear how much everyone is blaming her for the bad name of the community. Maybe I made a mistake a let a TV show film me, but all I've gotten since then was ridicule and hate from now EVERYONE, even the broader AB/DL community. When I never wanted to do that, I never wanted to make life harder for anyone. I just wanted to be myself.

    I know, that's the sweetest and cutest idea of what one of those "could be" but.. I always am worried that person exists. That we are making them sad. So I always try hard to let people know that though I disagree with you, I want to support you. Because in the end I still believe we are in this together.

    I'm sorry for nitpicking your post and making you feel bad for your anger, I guess I was just.. sort of sad. I admit that I like never use language, I even censored it in my response as you noticed.. which means I see it as extremely powerful. Things that hurt me bad, and I guess because I can only think like me.. I dunno. I'm really sorry. I feel bad for making you feel like I was trying to say you weren't entitled to your anger and I never wanted to say you were unsupportive in a broad sense. I just felt this post rang of a real sense of lacking support for those that you have chosen to be angry at. I guess it's a lot to expect that you support people who caused you pain.. but...

    I dunno, I feel bad in general. Hopefully I explained in this too long comment why I felt the way I did, but please let me know if you still have issues. I really want to reach a level of understanding, I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to demonize you.
    My goodness you are such a sweetie! Empathy is a wonderful trait in a person, and what I've said has not in anyway meant to counter that. You're right to feel for them. And, I do still think like you do most of the time. While I can be cold and analysing in my reasoning, it's not without heart and purpose.

    The ironic thing about all of this is that, I do understand the nature of these types of ABs. A lot of what I say are based on mass generalisations and lumping people into groups... which I hate doing - because there are always exceptions to any rule. But when there's not much scientific analysis or theory to go with a topic, all you have is allegory and generalisation.

    I do feel for these extreme types of AB. From my viewpoint, they've gone from being the norm of our culture and community at the dawn of the internet, to being very much at the fringes of it. Often derided and spoken about harshly. To understand why, you do indeed have to put yourself in their shoes. A lot, but not all, of them are ABDLs who have grown up without a means of expressing themselves. And more importantly, any way of communicating with people their worries and concerns.

    The internet provides us, not just with the ability to communicate with other ABs, but also to form communities such as this which encourage friendship and support. They weren't here twenty years ago. Imagine bearing all those thoughts of, "Am I mad?" "Am I a Paedophile?", "Am I alone?" all day, every day for endless years. How might that effect your personality and your life?

    From what I can see, we have an older generation that tends towards the more unstable and extreme. This is by no means always true. There are always going to be people who don't buckle under pressure and have a good solid and strong head on them from a young age. Also, there will always be people who have close friends they've been able to confide in when it has mattered. So by no means am I saying that all ABDLs 40+ are nuts. I'm not. Vice versa there are those that are younger who will buckle under the pressure anyway.

    So I understand the importance of places like this. I understand that it's important to provide support as early as possible. The more we bond collectively the better youngens will turn out when they're grown up ABDLs!

    But, and it's a big but. While my heart goes out to the unfortunate that are changed men and women due to that period of loneliness in their lives, most don't want to change. And yet, they all still want to play an active role in this community, often stepping into the public eye when they shouldn't. While some of them may of course just be young and misguided, I think most who participate know exactly what they're getting themselves into. Having spoken to quite a few of them over the years, there is this arrogance, perhaps due to a lack of ABDL social contact that makes them believe that their view of ABDL is what's most important. Whereas our views are much more tempered by social connectivity. You could almost say that, we decide almost as a group what is acceptable and what isn't now, even if we all do have our own private and personal relationship with ABDL.

    It's quite interesting really to look at it from this perspective! I hadn't considered casting my mind back to this specific topic until I read your reply. Thanks .
  7. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    Thanks, I'm so glad that you explained your feelings, and used experiences to explain what it was like and why you were feeling the way you do. Now I feel a little worse for the misunderstandings before, but you were very kind to me. Thank you so so much. I get where you are coming from now when it comes that group, and the feelings you've hit and I'm glad you seem to understand me too. I hope this allows us to move forward with positive opinions about each other, I know I think you are really nice now.

    Sorry again though. If your still upset at all, I'll do my best to make it up to you!
  8. Luca's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz
    Thanks, I'm so glad that you explained your feelings, and used experiences to explain what it was like and why you were feeling the way you do. Now I feel a little worse for the misunderstandings before, but you were very kind to me. Thank you so so much. I get where you are coming from now when it comes that group, and the feelings you've hit and I'm glad you seem to understand me too. I hope this allows us to move forward with positive opinions about each other, I know I think you are really nice now.

    Sorry again though. If your still upset at all, I'll do my best to make it up to you!
    Please don't think you've upset me darling! I'm made of sterner stuff (bears ya see :P). Even if we are cute and fluffy.

    I enjoy the discourse, I really do. What you may see as me being upset, is actually just passion for debate. Sorry for any confusion! Also, thank you so much for reading so much waffle. I really do have a way of making any sentence the most convoluted and drawn out paragraph on the planet.

    See this was meant to be a simple reply! Bah!!
  9. MsClara's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by Luca
    I had a long chat with one of the main ABs featured in the documentary. On this forum in fact. He's of the opinion that every corner of his life should be informed of his ABDL nature. Also, that everyone should know that he's a little boy and should treat him as such. That he should be allowed to act this out anywhere and everywhere. This is not the kind of spokesman I would choose for our community. Would you?
    well he's lost his grip on reality a bit hasn't he? No he's not the spokesman I would chose for ABDL people, however you and I have a slight problem don't we, because I don't think we believe in public spokesmen? If you and I aren't willing to be spokemen, don't think they should exist, that unfortunately leaves an open space into which people of that type will step. It's a bit of a catch-22...

    [/QUOTE]
  10. PaddedPuppy's Avatar
    I'm quite late to come in to this but might as well anyway. I agree with what MsClaraRiddle said. On top of that I am going to say that the 15 stone babies, and all other TV shows along similar lines that display AB/DLs (or any other unusual community) was a bad thing for us. If anyone was looking at Twitter while that was on TV you will have seen it made great entertainment and got plenty of viewers, but for us it caused problems. Before someone watched that they would only know a little about adult babies, and would be more open to discussion about it to a friend coming out as one, and explaining what it is really about to him/her. The TV show was simply made for shock, to make good entertainment and get lots of viewers. By basically calling us all freaks its generated loads of new haters, simply because they don't know enough.

    You said in your blog that you were both drinking. I don't know how much you had but that was probably part of your problems then and a good thing that you didn't open up. Alcohol would make it easier for you to freely discuss it, but would also make your friends reactions change. If you said something I could see an argument coming.

    As for AB/DL pride. It varies from person to person. With any adult baby I think you have to be proud of yourself and accept who you are, even if not showing it off to others. The self acceptance is a good thing. Some people might take it on to what you previously did and share it with others. Doesn't mean you are getting in anyone's face with it or showing off to anyone. But it follows on from what I just said. Acceptance. If you can get friends to accept who you are it makes you happier. In my opinion, that is where the line is to be drawn. Accepting yourself, sharing with close friends that you have this side to you, but also having a successful adult life, and also not dragging other people into your own interests.

    Then you get people like Pamperchu. He can't separate adult life from his little side, so he lives it 24/7. He goes round in public almost as if he is asking for people to hate on him. He has plenty of hate - if you Google him you will see. He gives himself a bad name, but then also us. He is the type of person you would expect to see on ABDL Documentaries and thats the problem. To show who we really are we need someone who keeps themself to themself, to open up just once and say how it really is. It won't be as entertaining or shocking to watch but would help a lot with outside views that have been ruined by people like Pamperchu and the things he says.

    Anyway I went a little bit off topic there. If you have decided not to open up to others anymore thats you choice. If you ask me though, I would say you did nothing wrong. If you have been fine with coming out to other friends in the past why let one bad experience put you off? But like I said thats just what I think.

    Either way, just keep doing what makes you happy.
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