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How to totally eliminate barriers of self-acceptance.

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This isn't actually an instructional blog on how to do this. This is just something I've come to realize along the way.

I still have a burning shame for this fetish. I have strong intuition, and I cannot shake the fact (or feeling, however you see it) that a sexual attraction to diapers is pretty weird. I'm attracted to women, don't get me wrong, but this fetish makes me so unhappy with myself that I can't find enough self-esteem to put myself out there in the dating scene. It's been a monkey hanging off my back for a LONG time.

I've been on a major soul-search for a while, and certain events have come up that force me to shift my foundation of confidence under myself, and not the family, as it was before. It's been going pretty well, and I've used spiritual knowledge to help put things in perspective, which definitely helps. I thought the knowledge would CURE the fetish, and disregard it as an illusion, but it hasn't. Well, it has, and it hasn't; I know now that the fetish is nowhere near as true as sexual attraction to women, and yet, it's still something I have to understand. So I've delved right into it in the past week or so.

My main concern for getting over my self-acceptance issues lies in what other people think of me. Whenever I think of diapers, I also think "OMG, what would THIS person think??!" (usually a woman I'm attracted to). And I get ashamed and I suppress the feelings, which I know is never a good thing, as it messes with my head. How to solve this issue of not concerning myself with others' opinions I have yet to figure out.

Any tips would be great if you've read this far!


  1. Trevor's Avatar
    Boy, it really seems to be the season for people to beat themselves up over this. I know it never really stops on a site like this, but we've had two just today here and here. I think we have to resign ourselves to most people not understanding this. At least in my case, I'm not out in public as an AB, so it's not too worrying for me. The odds are going to be considerably improved when dealing with someone who sees you as a person rather than just another face (or a diapered guy in this case) in the crowd.

    The best suggestion I have is to make ABDL friends. It's not a quick and easy process but it pays considerable dividends as you can see how normal, or how about a better word, "human" this is. I'm not talking about meeting up for diaper stuff, although that's fine if it's what you want and you make those kinds of friends. Turning the corner for me was just making real friends here and that didn't have much to do with our diapers.
  2. NeverKnow's Avatar
    Remember that your fetish is part of you but doesn't define you. When you're dating, you are not a fetishist, you are you. Try to meet women that you like. It's not until you both know, value, and respect each other that you should really consider this being a part of your life that you divulge. So don't go into dating thinking, "What will she think?" - because she might not find out unless things go far, by which point she will know that there is more to you than your fetish.

    I think it's important also to take example from other people whose relationships have worked out. Firstly, significant others [I]are[/I] sometimes accepting - even when there seems to be no reason to expect it. Secondly, we should expect that others will have a knee-jerk reaction because they have probably never heard of this (except through negative media portrayals). That doesn't make you weird, just uncommon, and that doesn't mean that your partner will not consider your case. Don't assume that people will not give you a chance or that this will be a deal breaker - there is evidence to the contrary.
  3. whisko's Avatar
    i met my wife at a local bar and dated her for about a month before i told her about my diaper thing. i just started the conversation nervously and with something like "i want to tell you about something that i do that i have enjoyed since i was 12... i like to wear diapers. it turns me on, and it also just feels right. i want to make sure you know it doesn't have anything to do with kids. and it's something i have tried to give up in the past, but i've decided to stop worrying about it. it's fairly harmless as far as kinks go." she didn't freak out, and seemed to feel kind of honored that i trusted her with my secret. i figure that if she had not accepted me and my unusual choice of underwear, we both would have understood and let each other go for our own reasons.

    she doesn't get very involved, because i haven't wanted her to. she probably wouldn't mind, but i am not looking for a mommy ;-) and sometimes she doesn't even know or notice that i'm wearing. so you might just be able to find a great girl and introduce her to your diapery side.
  4. SwinginPendulum's Avatar
    Thanks everyone, your advice helps, especially when suggesting that this fetish is not the whole picture! I'm sure there are women out there who would accept this with no problems, it's just that the negative impacts it has on me play a big part as well.

    And no, I don't have a significant other, although I'm trying to change that. I've got to start changing things pun intended! - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.