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the 1st 12 years of my life

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after chatting with a friend last night it dawned on me i am slowly regressing i want to for ever live out the 1st 12 years of my life with out as much disability related operations/medical situations

when i was in school from year 9 I can't tell you any thing Pacific of what happened I've blocked it out all I remember is feeling shitty pining for guys attention 3 of which i still remember vividly but will not mention them out of respect i wanted to be with them not all at once.

you must understand i was incredibly upset and confused about my sexuality back when i was 13 by year 9 when i was 15 or 16 it reached breaking point i got more and more paranoid and upset

i have never being as content in my life than when i was a toddler/little kid/young child/child
i wish there was some one who could foster me and treat me as a child going from age 2 years to 12 and every 10 years the cycle repeat its self

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