Life, It's complications, and joys. Part 2.
by, 22-Jan-2013 at 17:36 (452 Views)
I hate this.
I've been disconnected from everything I've ever loved, and it seems like it was for no reason at all, other than I was too weak to hold on any longer. I had hoped that she would have the strength to show me that it didn't need to be like this. But, as it turns out, she wanted out even more than I thought I did. I realized almost immediately after not having her that it was a terrible, terrible idea. But, she wanted to keep going. I feel lost. Alone. But, everyone goes through these problems, right? Why should I be any different? I was blinded by the bliss of true love that seems as if it wasn't meant to be. I'm very in love with a woman who is quickly falling out of love with me... I've been with her for year, I shared all my secrets, she was the only person who knew who I really was.
We're on a "break", a Trail Separation.
I'm not taking it very well. Sad, right? It's almost pitiful, honestly. The way I act sometimes disgusts me, just how pitiful I can be.
I'm not supposed to contact her, but the past two days I've been attempting to keep in touch, but I've realized how bad it made me look, and I believe it was even pushing her away. So, I'm doing my best to stay as far away from her life as possible so she can think clearly about what she needs to do without me influencing her decision any.
She's my baby girl, and a baby girl needs her daddy, right? Daddy sure as hell needs his little girl. The break ends Sunday. I'm crossing my fingers.