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A little blog about the truth, love and philosophy

A risk worth taking (1)

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I'm not usually a risk-taker, honestly speaking. I shy potential risks, even though the gain might be ever so tasteful. Right now I'm describing the normal me, yes, but there are exceptions, a few very notable ones. But in most cases, I'd just follow my head and its reasoning - that's what's worked best this far.

"What about what your heart tells you!?"

- Cute little romantic

Oh, cute little romantic, you're adorable. I love you in a non-serious kind of way, I really do. But oh, for once you're actually correct! Even though I usually follow the ideas which are dictated by my mind, I have now made a decision that defies my normal reasoning. Gosh, I feel so giddy. You see, right now I'm studying, and I will be with my class for a little short of 5 years. They're a lovely bunch: friendly, interesting and most important of all - they all have personality. I've always had a firm stance on inter-classroom relationships; "No sleeping with classmates, chump!"

Well, that was then. Now I've gone and fallen for a pretty little thing. Aye yes, the soft spot on my heart. Third date (Oooh, how magical!) is happening, uh, I think wednesday. That'll be fun.

Honestly though, I'm not sure if it's a "date", or if we've even had one at all! We haven't really called it that, and I sure as hell ain't a mind-reader yet, so it's hard to tell. Also, I haven't really told her directly how I feel - nor has she, so it's all a bit of a gamble. But I kind of like that, it's fun to just take chance once in a little while. Not knowing what's really right.

So, are there mutual feelings? Don't know. Have we even dated at all? Hell if I know. I'm not stupid though, the signals are there. She sends them, as do I. They thing I don't know is exactly whether or not she's willing to take the same risk that I am. 5 years of constant exposure is quite a handful... but I have a feeling that I'm doing the right thing.

This is really happening.

Also, on a not so unrelated note, I gave up smoking yesterday morning. Withdrawal soon followed and now it's tearing me to shreds. Good God, it feels as if my body is attempting to kill me.

Updated 26-Nov-2012 at 00:54 by Crassi



  1. Cottontail's Avatar
    No sleeping with classmates? A missed opportunity if ever I've heard one! (Glad you've snapped out of it! ) All of my girlfriends and partners were classmates, and why not? Your classmates are a large group of people your age who are similarly disposed to friendship and to forming intimate relationships. You won't find that anywhere else. Heck, I married a classmate! Best thing I ever did. When I think about school, I don't think about my degree, I think about my wife and about the many other friends I made and still have.


    I totally sympathize with your giddiness and with the magical feeling you're describing. It's awesome, and I'm happy for you! Definitely a risk worth taking!

    Good luck with the quitting smoking, too! Whatever the immediate consequences to your body chemistry may be, you'll thank yourself later big-time! I smoked cigarettes very briefly, and had a longer-lasting habit of smoking cigars with friends -- not daily, but often enough that my wardrobe smelled of them and I knew other people could smell it too. Took a couple of months to completely shake that off, and I've been tempted a few times since (it's been 14 years), but I haven't fallen off the wagon yet. On the other hand, I now drink half a dozen cups of coffee a day.
  2. Crassi's Avatar

    First of, thank you for your lovely reply! Can honestly say that I read it through with a big smile on my face.

    I am fairly biased when it comes to my view on relationships between classmates, as I had a pretty rough run-in with it a long time ago, back when I was just a kid. I fell for a nice girl, we hanged out together, a relationship at the age of 14 doesn't really reach any spiritual levels exactly. Still, I remember how absolutely awful the times after the break-up was, mainly due to the fact that I had to see and in many cases interact with her many times a week. It hurt my young little heart, and to be honest, it left certain wounds that I'm even troubled by today. But of course, I'm quite functional even in this damaged state. To be honest, I'm quite a damaged person all in all, but that's beside the point, yes.

    And I'm very, very glad to hear about you and your wife! My hat goes off for you and her, knowing that things can work out makes me a very happy man indeed. Your story will surely aid me, and boost my confidence even more. If there's a slim shot at happiness? Hell, I'm all in.

    About the smoking, yes. I do not regret starting. It did help me during an extremely, and I mean extremely difficult time in my life. But, it's time to move on from that. I have the same need for it anymore, and I hope to be rid of it someday. Congratulations on getting rid of the smokes by the way. You are living proof that my goals aren't unreachable, and that's a light in the dark that I can't value enough. Thank you, my friend.

    Also, I'm not going to bother proof-reading this, I feel pretty sick to be honest. Nautious, with jerky twitchy movements. Nicotine-plasters are a joke, they do nothing! - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.