by, 09-Sep-2012 at 18:33 (329 Views)
So, today, I turned 19. It's pretty peculiar, I'd say. It's not a big number. I'm still a youngster, a young adult. I've barely seen anything, yet I feel as if I've seen all I've ever need.
It has been a peculiar birthday. You see, it doesn't really feel like what I've grown used to. I have a pretty devestating cold right now, the headache burdens me and I feel more tired than usually. Today I have not been sung, something I am happy for. No one celebrating me, no one pretending - following a tradition that has since long lost all meaning.
To be honest, the magic's gone, broken and dispersed. Left unsung. Probably long ago. I can faintly remember when I used to be excited for this, couldn't fall asleep the day before and I spent all day indulging in material gifts and relishing in being the center of attention. But alas, no more.
This, however, does not bring me sadness, but rather peace. For that is my gift to myself: Peace and quiet. No rushing, no people pulling me everywhere. No parties to attend and no bars to get drunk at. Just relief. I find a phone call from my father to be much more rewarding than any physical gifts he could give, since the affection and love that comes off of him is something much more honest, more pure, than any wrapped up present ever could be. I like that.
It feels good, staying at home today. Drinking a glass of scotch and watching the world's greatest FBI-agents solve paranormal mysteries on the X-files. I don't need much, really. A days break from my studies, and a symbolic farewell to the life I once had.
For now, I will rest. Indulge in the tranquility and feel relieved. Yet, I do not feel enlightened by adding another year to my count.
I just feel older.
Yes, this has been one quiet birthday.