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Is the grass really greener?

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as of late and although I value my upbringing, simply because it made me into who I am today, but I just can’t get over the wishful thinking of being brought by a Caucasian family. Not that I’m trying to make this an issue of race, but here is what I have noticed in between the differences of raising babies. Where I’m from, in a black family, a baby is loved just like any other race and always gets what it needs. Not to say that this is the case for everyone, I’m not trying to draw statistics that aren’t proven; just experiences I’ve been raised on, but…..

Unlike a Caucasian family where I’m from, it’s rare to actually have the father figure in your life. Furthermore, things like “baby talking” and playing with the baby, documenting first steps and doing things such as baby books? Only time we ever saw any of this stuff, was on TV. I could remember asking my mother at the age of ether three or four, if pigeons made sound and I was told yes. When I asked her what one would sound like, she refused to mimic one, probably out of pride; I have no clue. I don’t regret the fact that I grew up being rewarded and feeling good about taking responsibility at a very young age, but at the same time, I envy those who say they were “overprotected”, not thinking so much of the psychological impact, but more so for that overstated “parent/child” bond.

I took this theory a bit further and came to the conclusion of caulking it up God’s will. I truly believe we are put in the positions we are put into for a reason. If we were to get everything we actually wished for in life, then what kind of person would we really turn out to be? Personally, I forget who told me to stop making all of this more than what it is and just embrace it, but I’m starting to think he is 100% right.


  1. Cottontail's Avatar
    Nowadays, I think the average US Caucasian baby is lucky to even have a mother figure. Where I live, regardless of race, most kids simply have a daycare figure. Mommy and daddy are there for "Good morning!" and "Good night!" and that's about it. That's not to say they don't love their kids, but when the majority caretaker ceases to be a parent, a certain closeness is lost forever. And when that happens at such young ages? It's a bit tragic, I think. I'm not big on traditional roles in general, but if one of the parents can be home with the kids, I'm strongly in favor of that!

    As for baby talk and stuff: That's very interesting. I suppose I can understand that, at least where being born a certain race implies the need to "grow up sooner." How that ties in with being AB/DL is unclear. Perhaps a disproportionately large percentage of racial minorities have AB/DL tendencies as a result, but then repress those tendencies in similar proportion for the very same reason. Or something else entirely (probably).
  2. Maxx's Avatar
    Perfectly natural to wonder "what if". Everybody does it. Look at our story section......
  3. gottibear's Avatar
    The grass always looks greener but I bet the statistics are low for how often it really is.

    I grew up in a white home and was adopted by my grandparents. I was the only one of the three that was over protected and it was terrible to me. It nearly drove me crazy over the years, and caused me to do some really messed up stuff in spite of them and to show that I don't need to be over protected. - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.