View RSS Feed

binkygirl

My Daddy

Rate this Entry
I had to get this out there. I know it is not perfectly written but I couldn't keep it in. It kinda explains itself but I will anyway. This is partly written to my real dad and my AB daddy.

My Daddy

My daddy used to be the man, the one I always turned to. I used to be his little girl and no I am just an afterthought. I have been put to the sideline and he has turned away, his back toward me. Why am I forgotten why does he not care. When I needed him most he was not there. He didnít care enough about his little girl.

In the end I have to do what is best for me. I have to turn to another for that care and love. He shows more love to me than my father does. He has turned into my daddy and I his little girl. A connection has grown that will never be broken. He has begun to fill that wound though it has not healed he has put a Band-Aid on it for me.
Why does life throw such curves balls? Why does it turn totally upside down? Why must people fall away? It makes such a wound and tears life apart. It changes the way everything was and makes everything seem strange and unreal.

Though I am thankful for new people in my life, I wish that the old ones would stay the same. I wish that they would still care and see you through the worst time of all. I wish that I could still care the same way I used to for him but that has changed forever. I am no longer his little girl; I am no longer his baby. He gave up that job for someone else to take over and has not even given it a second glance. How can a parent do that? How can they cease to care? How can he turn his back to me?

What should I care? Why should I try? Why canít I just give up on him like he did on me? Why canít I just fall in the arms of another who longs to take up that roll? He truly cares for me the way a friend and daddy should. He would take care of me no matter what happened. I could be his little girl. I could be his princess. He could heal all the broken parts and me happy once again.
Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. DylanK's Avatar
    My heart longs for you, I have 3 charges and I don't think I could ever do to them what your daddy did to you, I expect that they will move on from me at some point after all that's what children (even AB children) do, but I could never abandon them

    I know this is unlikely to help much but you may have a hug from me any time you like or drop me a PM if you want to someone to just listen to you
  2. TeddyBearCowboy's Avatar
    Binkygirl,

    Please be careful. I am not sure what has happened to you with your father. But regardless of that, I am truly sorry for what you are going through. As I have shared with you in other correspondence, it seems you have had more than your fair share of challenges in your life. But what I am saying is be careful of looking for others to replace your true father.

    I have issues with my own father, and wish that he could have been more caring for me and considerate of my needs. Many times he was not there when I really needed him, and this causes me a lot of heartache. However, as much as I would like to think there is someone else out there who could care for me, (for me it would actually be a maternal figure) I have had to rely on a strength from within to move on. But I am old enough to be aware that many who are out there that may say they want to fill that vacancy may have their own interests at mind.

    From what you have shared with me, you have gone through a lot. But I hope this has made you aware of how important relationships are and that you need to look at them very carefully. It is very hard to replace "blood" relationships.

    Be strong in those areas that you find happiness. I believe you will be successful in your efforts as you seem to have a strong desire to overcome the challenges you have experienced in life.

    Best of wishes to you in your search. May God grant you the wishes of your heart and may you find happiness in amongst the trials you are going through.

    Teddy Bear Cowboy
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.