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What exactly is a fetish?

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Lot of people get offended when their interest is called a fetish. But does it matter what it's called? If something is classified as one, why get offended if it is a "fetish?"

Someone on another forum pointed out what sexual fetishism is:


Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object/situation is a fetishist.[1] A sexual fetish may be regarded as an enhancing element to a romantic/sexual relationship "achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment)" or as a mental disorder/disorder of sexual preference if it causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life.[2] Arousal from a particular body part is classified as partialism.[3]

This is also on Wikipedia that goes more into detail.

But yet the dictionary says something else:

   [fet-ish, fee-tish] Show IPA
an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

Medical Dictionary

fetish fet·ish (fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)

Something, such as an object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.

An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment.

World English Dictionary
fetish or fetich (ˈfɛtɪʃ, ˈfiːtɪʃ, ˈfɛtɪʃ, ˈfiːtɪʃ)

— n
1. something, esp an inanimate object, that is believed in certain cultures to be the embodiment or habitation of a spirit or magical powers
2. a. a form of behaviour involving fetishism
b. any object that is involved in fetishism
3. any object, activity, etc, to which one is excessively or irrationally devoted: to make a fetish of cleanliness

[C17: from French fétiche , from Portuguese feitiço (n) sorcery, from adj: artificial, from Latin factīcius made by art, factitious ]


Also the fact the same person who told me about sexual fetishism and copied it from Wikiepedia told me that the only way it be a fetish is if they used the objects to sexually arouse themselves so they can finish with a human partner. She also sai if there is no other human involved, it's not a fetish. Then she asked me if my own autisitc friends are getting turned on by their shoes or ducks to prepare themselves for human sex. My answer to that is no. They don't have sex because there is no one for them to have sex with.

Okay now this is all very confusing. A man was having sex with his teddy bear and got arrested for it because he was caught doing it in the alley. You can read all about it here:

Also it was not the first time he has done this with a teddy bear. Someone said at Fetlife he has a plushophilia and called it a fetish. There were no humans involved.

Okay, I like to wear diapers. I do not do it to have sex or to get prepared for it. I can do it alone without needing anyone in life. I also like to drink out of sippy cups and use a pacifier. I am not doing this for sex. But yet I like to masturbate in diapers, it feels good. I also love it when my husband rubs the outside of my diaper, it's better when it's wet but this is not for sex. It is sexual all right when I get my diaper changed or have him rub me down there but I am not doing it to get sex.

I also like to breast feed my husband. Sure it involves other humans but I am not doing it to get aroused to have sex. I just do it because I want to keep making milk and it's better than using the breast pump because my boobs do get sore when I have to use it four times a day. So I wish I could breast feed my husband more often because of it.

I also like to get spanked. It's part of being a little girl and I feel so young inside when he does it. I am not doing this for sexual arousal or for sex.

But however, I have figured out if I want to get my diaper changed by my husband, I have to turn him on so he would want to have sex with me and give into his urges. so he would have to take my diaper off, clean me up, have sex with me and then he puts me in a clean diaper. Now is this a true fetish here? But I didn't do this for sex, I did it to have my diaper changed and the only way to get it is if I have sex with him so I get what I want.

Okay now for autistic people that have abnormal attachments to their objects, would that mean they have a fetish. If they aren't even making love to it or having sex with it nor making out with it, it's not a fetish. But the dictionary says it is. Does my aspie friend in Ohio have a fetish with his blanket? He is strongly attached to it but he knows to not take it out in public with him, it stays in his apartment. Do small children have fetishes? They also get attached to their objects? Maybe not since it's normal at that age but what if an autistic child was attached to a piece of string, does that mean they have a string fetish? But what if an NT child continued being strongly attached to their blanket and they liked taking it with them everywhere and then they were starting kindergarten, do they have a blanket fetish?

I have been very obsessive myself except not with objects. Did that mean I had a Benny & Joon fetish or a Spokane fetish or a 101 Dalmatians Fetish or even a London fetish or a video game fetish? It does say an obsessive preoccupation or attachment. I even remember my mother telling me I was obsessed with my Barbie dolls. Did I have a Barbie doll fetish?

Plus anything that is listed as a paraphilia is classified as a fetish so therefore objectophilia will be one. I have a paraphilia, it's diapers and infantilism. I bet spankings and lactation is counted as one too.

Okay so what if someone was alone and had no one to share their fetish with so they did it alone like wearing diapers and using them and masturbating in them and also living like an AB and they wanted to have a mommy to take care of them and change them but they have not met anyone who would do it to them, would they not have a fetish because they would have no one to do that with before having sex?

I think people are just too politically correct about the word so they say they do not have a fetish or that it's not a fetish for them. Why can't they just accept it?

Plus when I read on fetishes, not all of it says about how you have to be sexually aroused. But some fetishes do say you have to be sexually aroused for it to be one. So what if someone liked to suck blood but they did not get turned on by it, would it not be a fetish after all?

BTW I saw here:

They have mine listed, pharaphilic infantilism, and it didn't say anything about sexual arousal. Only part they got wrong is mostly guys. There are females into this too, lot of them but most of them hide. I have seen tons of them here at ADISC or on fetlife. Lot of them just reject men who are into it. They just find it creepy when a man wants to talk to them because they wear a diaper. But yet if they talk to them about something else they have in common with like sports or a movie they saw or video games, etc. they are fine with it. Or maybe there is truth to it because I do see most men on the forums and most people talk to to are all men. Girls are rare. But yet I would like to talk to parents who wear diapers and are into the lifestyle but I am afraid of being too creepy or coming off as one. But yet the news site called it all sexual fetishes even though it's not sexual for everyone.

So what exactly is a fetish? If people wish to get offended by it, I couldn't care less. I just think they have a problem with the word fetish and see it as a bad thing so they must separate themselves from it and be in denial and not accept the fact it's classified as a fetish and accept the fact they have one.

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