View RSS Feed


Balancing Life

Rate this Entry
Well today Kind of starts a new point in life. At least for a little while. My oldest sister and her husband and baby moved back to the state and they are staying at our house for a month or so. So that is pretty exciting in and of itself.

On a more interesting note. I am still trying to balance My AB life and regular life. I daily struggle to keep some semblance of an adult life. I have boundaries set that I try my hardest not to cross. Living at home is not the easiest way to manage an AB lifestyle. I am always worried what my mom will say if she sees me "in baby mode" or using a pacifier or bottle. I am not as worried about the pacifier and I freely use my blankie but it is just knowing that she thinks that infantism is a thing that needs to be "fixed."

I am trying to come up with ways to tell her that it is not going away. I do not think she realizes that I cannot actually control that desire. I can fight the severity of it but I cannot make it go away. I was born this way.

Plus I thoroughly enjoy my baby time, or time with "Daddy” and things like that. I am so relaxed and not in control and I just love it. For now I have the ability to snap out of baby mode if needed. But sometimes when I am deeply in it I cannot just turn it off. Usually it goes away the next morning but there are times that I wake up in just as much of a baby mode when I went to sleep.

I feel a little weird as my nephew that just moved in is 13 months old. Kind of funny cause he is very close to my AB age. I kind of just want to slip into baby mode and play just like him. But I know that I would be thought nuts. That is why I wish daddy could be here and I could be his baby girl all the time. That I would love.
Anyway I am done spouting off for now. I am sure I will be back later.

Updated 24-Jun-2012 at 01:58 by binkygirl



  1. BabyKayla's Avatar
    STORY OF MY LIFE (except for wanting to tell my mom) I'm sure tons of people are like this. You're not alone. Just wait, one day when you can be with your daddy it will just be more worth'll appreciate it so much more, at least, that's what I tell myself. - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.