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Shen

Hints of a New Plague

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There is one severe thing that I have been starting to notice lately that I thought would have no affect on my life, but it really does. I have friends, this is something I am not used to normally, it's something I've only been coming to terms with for a few years now. However there is one problem, as great as these friends are, I have so much on my mind all of the time and I can't tell any of them any of it. There are some I can but unfortunately they either don't want to hear it (which I don't blame them) or just really could care less. I just wish I knew a trustworthy person who was interested in my life style. Perhaps I am wrong, perhaps some of them are interested and I am just being stupid. Regardless, it is affecting me extremely. I have a lot to talk about that I need to get off my chest a lot I want to share, and no one to share it with. It's very sad. So apathy isn't as great as I thought it used to be. In the end, it still seems that empathy is the Superior feeling. I love who I am, I just wish people actually knew who I was lol. It's not that I've built a fence, I'm actually very open with it. It's just It seems like no one wants to know. Not even my family, and it really hurts to come to this realization.
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  1. blarg's Avatar
    All i can say is that people who would judge you off of what you you like to do, as if in harmless things- are ass holes. My friend was scared about this stuff too and i kinda stumbled along this when i searched his all too frequently used username on google- i confronted him and it's not like anything bad happened? Lol and in the end i know my friend better and i have yet another forum that i can write stories for.
    Hope that helps
  2. Shen's Avatar
    well they don't judge Im just upset that a lot of them seem like they don't want to hear about it. which is understandable, but unfortunately I do need someone to talk to. If it helps this was my friends reply to me.

    "I will only ever open myself fully to one person. and hopefully thats the person i decide to spend the rest of my life with. We're all so wrapped up in our problems, insecurites and the concious flaws we repeat over and over that being self absorbed and sad is often interpreted as apathy.

    Empathy is indeed superior, it's figuratively a growing pain... You get connected, you get hurt, you grow from being hurt.

    Apathy is a great way to ignore the pain your experience, but this doesnt necessarily mean you don't grow. I'm unsure.

    Haha i know what you mean by

    Quote:love who I am, I just wish people actually knew who I was lol. It's not that I've built a fence, I'm actually very open with it. It's just It seems like no one wants to know. Not even my family, and it really hurts to come to this realization.



    It sucks cause were male too, we're made to fit sterotypes that don't leave much room for emotional behavior. Lucky for you your not intrested in females:P in most cases being upset or showing weakness infront of a female is extremely unnatractive.

    I really think its not that no one wants to know, people are extremely curious. And sometimes people may know more than you think :p
    It's really a matter of yes your friends asking questions, but i think even more so letting them know! Even a bit of information can lead to one of us asking more questions."
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