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Moving House & Other Stuff

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Well, a week today I will be moving into a new house with my family and I still feel like sh*t about it. The house we're moving into used to belong to a really old lady, like 90 and I've been around to see the house once and everything about it made me feel depressed.

Don't get me wrong, I fully understand why my parents are moving. Pay off most of their debts, closer for my mum to work etc, but even the promise of a summer house for myself in the garden isn't providing me with the motivation to get set.

Monday was terrible because my Dad kept rabbiting on at me about getting stuff ready and then had a right go at me, saying that we all know you dont want to move, but tough so get on with it. I have been co-operating, but he doesn't seem to grasp that just because he's excited about moving doesn't mean I am.

Recently I have seemed to have got a hold on my depression, but boy it is slowly hitting me like a ton of bricks again. I had to come off the anti-depressents I was taking because I was getting tremors in my arms and since I drive, my doctor doesn't want me to risk having a road accident or something.

But now I am at a stage where I have something to look forward too, a holiday to Florida later in the year, yet I would be happy if next Wednesday never came.

My dad lied to me about when the internet would be connected, I'm looking at least 2 days without internet, which sucks because the few of my friends I talk too live all over the place and I know I am just going to feel like sh*t for a long while.

I actually cried on Monday because everything just got to me and apart from 1 person in my life <3 I feel so lonely and a little afraid of what's happening next.

At least it's payday tomorrow and I'm padded, so I'll end with that bit of good news .

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