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Troubled

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I don’t know if is a normal thing but as for most males on diaperspace (or maybe generally online) it seems to be normal indeed that they are in real life relationships and are looking for understanding from people from the scene online.
That is, without them mentioning their relationships to those people online who are actually looking for a partner from the scene.
Well at least as for me, I’ve been searching for someone for quite some time now. And every time I get to talk to a guy online and after a while really like him… turns out he is in a relationship and only is looking for an online mommy or something. I really feel used and quite stupid about it all. I feel like I’m just an online toy or someone frustrated males can come talk to or wank to only just cos their real life partners either have no idea of their fetish side or don’t share it.
I wonder whether I am the only one in this situation or with these thoughts. I am in quite some despair and I am starting to lose hope that anyone online is actually sincere or genuine and looking for the same things as me.
For myself I found that I cannot be with someone “normal” because even though diapers or ABDL stuff doesn’t rule my life, it is still an important thing to me. I am not into sex, I only ever get a kick out of this fetish stuff, that’s all. And it’s hard enough to find someone who is turned on by the same things, but it seems to be even harder because of the fact that so many guys are already in relationships with people who don’t share it.
By some posts or impressions, at first I thought that most males are moaning about how they don’t find a girl who is into this etc, but I am writing this to say… girls get that too. Cos every time I thought I HAVE found someone, they let it drop casually in a conversation that they are taken.
Of course you can say “ah you will find someone at some point” – but some point is very vague after years of loneliness and searching. Plus I will turn 30 this summer and I feel old. Even if that sounds stupid.
If you are into the fetish but are with someone who doesn’t share it – does it affect your relationship? Do you feel like you are missing something or that your relationship is lacking something?
I’m just very sad and feeling unloved and I know I shouldn’t complain so much but I just cannot help it. I fall for people easily and really if I start to like someone I tend to be clingy but that’s because I am so very desperate to find a likeminded person who will choose me. Choose me over the other girls on diaperspace or wherever.
I don’t know. Sorry for rambling.
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Comments

  1. Luckyfish's Avatar
    Hello Dandelionwine.

    I share similar feelings to you having turned 30.

    Somebody once described being 30 as on the outside looking in, as your age now bridges the gap between junior and senior adulthood.

    However i am lucky enough to have a beautiful wife who does not share my fetish however it really doesn't matter as she is accepting and our bond goes beyond this admittedly out there kink.

    I often pondered it i was single and if i found somebody who shared my fetish would i be happier?

    For me personally i would say no, as the person might have attributes i or she may find annoying and we could still be incompatible as a couple.

    I would be very skeptical about finding a parter on the web as i truly doubt the majority of people to be honest when it comes to on line dating.

    I hope you find somebody who accepts you for you, and although may not share the same fetish, the mutual chemistry of that person goes beyond this kink.

    Having such a unique kink/lifestyle and searching for an exact compatible parter is a very tall order.

    You are still comparatively young and i want you to find that special person kink aside then reintroducing yourself to the person until you reach full acceptance.

    Never give up, and keep trying to find that person via your normal channels.

    If it fails, its time to change tactics.

    I heard that Germany is one of the kink capitals of the world so that puts you at one hell of an advantage over more vanilla/conservative countries.

    You seem like a very soft and sensitive person who carries her heart on her sleeve,but gets it trampled by insensitive, lying jerks who only want fulfillment of their fetish and remain as they are with who they are with.

    I wish you the best and never give up!
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