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LilRetroBoy

This may be selfish but

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i think this is very selfish of me but i think after trying to please every 1 for so long and trying to prove im an equal i feel i deserve this

i want to be a full time adult baby ideally be any were from 2 to 5 years old

i want to move in with some one

i don't want a boy friend as this life style i crave is non sexual

i want to be that age in public to and not have to worry about if my wheelchair is gonna last me or any other adult worry's i don't care why this adult baby life style desire has come from i used to think it had to be sexual like a fetish like i know it can be for some it was the only way i could justify it but now i know different

i try so hard to be an equal i Punish my self daily by forcing my self to over eat because i am hiding my true self from the world i then feel guilt because of family so work out like crazy i don't want to over eat or need the exercise for what i currently use it for all i want is to be the kid i Know i am

i am a kid in a 22 year old body a kid who has had to play at being grown up for about 11 years and i am just sick of it

Comments

  1. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    I am sorry to hear you are hurting. I have too for a very long time felt like I wear a mask to others, and the mask and person we feel we have to be for other people can be hard to bear sometimes. Try to take things as easy as you can and focus about indulging yourself in little chunks, the last thing I would want or anyone would want is for you to rush into something that you would later regret, like a situation with someone you don't know.

    Also, try to realize that being a child at heart and soul, and in personality isn't ruined by having to do things such as go to work or do things you have to do. Those things are things that are separate for who we are as people, and even children have to do things that are good for them once in a while. I always felt better realizing there is a "at work" self, where I am not Angel but a representation of the company that has employed me and once my shift is over, I can go and be Angel. Sometimes 8 hours a day is worth the ability to be that person, and nothing is gained without effort.. even a full time child lifestyle.

    Still, I hope you can indulge in yourself and find ways to make yourself happy above all things right now. Also, your using of the word.. equal worries me, because all human beings are equal and all their desires and selves matter.
  2. LilRetroBoy's Avatar
    i just want to live like a kid cos i am one my body has grown up but my mind is still very much kid i am miserable living my life in chunks i need a daddy or mommy
  3. gigglemuffinz's Avatar
    I understand, all you can do is do your best and try to be happy with what you have. You aren't alone in the frustration of living your life in chunks, I promise. I think that's actually an experience that transcends AB's and just is what everyone feels. We all can't be everything we are, we just have to find comfort in the times we are.

    *gives you a big hug though* I'm so sorry you are hurting. I wish I could help.
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