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TenSwords

I think I may have "grown out" of my fetish

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Emphasis on I THINK.

*Warning: Contains mature and potentially offensive (in a non-sexual way) content!

I managed to masturbate to pictures of a semi-naked woman in very provocative poses, and I also had means of altering my mental state the same night (not sure if this has anything to do with it), and now I don't find diapers on women, or diapers in general, arousing. At all. It's actually kind of a turn-off.

It's like I never even had a fetish. I try to watch diaper porn but it doesn't do anything, and I find myself focusing on other normal things besides the diaper after a while. To say the least, this is a huge breakthrough for my personal experience living with this fetish.

Now for the potentially offensive stuff...

I absolutely despise the fetish. It's fucking weird, and it's going to be a turn-off to many women. You can say a woman never loved you if she didn't accept it, but let's get real: marriage and relationships are almost entirely based off sex. Relationships themselves are friendships with sex thrown into the mix, at best. No one will ever see our side of it. Society is too strong and influential to let us get away with finding diapers arousing. I don't know many women who are open-minded enough so as to not be influenced by society in some way, not only in this (American) society would this fetish be weird, but most definitely in others. Diapers are for people who can't use the toilet, used for holding human waste that is full of bacteria, not to mention the god-awful smell. Who in their right mind would accept someone else who finds this sexy?

Mind you, I'm not down-talking infantilism. I've never gotten into that, and never planned on it. I'm talking about the fetish, which most will agree is entirely separate from infantilism.

Now I'm not 100% sure if I have just grown out of it or if I've just managed to induce a really strong purge cycle, but all I know is that even though I have a stash, I haven't had the faintest desire to wear for...I think a week and a half. Which is a damn long time for me when I have access. I'm 80% sure I've grown out of it though, because my purge cycles would never last this long. Plus, the whole thing talked about in the first paragraph is too coincidental for it to just be a purge.

This fetish has been a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I've pretty much been made to be who I am because of it, and it's certainly helped in my acceptance of others regardless of what they may or may not like, and it has probably indirectly led me to my life-changing spiritual epiphany in some indirect way.

But on the other hand, it's given me countless amounts of grief, self-doubt, and self-hatred. So to that aspect, I say good riddens.

I really want to write a story about this fetish as well and how I felt about it, and what it is to me. I think I will.
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Comments

  1. user13640's Avatar
    First off I don't like diapers, Second off purges can last months you cant judge one by the time you spent on another. Third off Its not true that relationships are mostly sex because there are people who are unable to have sex and have completely healthy relationships. Relationships are based off love, Trust, and respect. If she doesn't respect you in one aspect there is a hole in the relationship that could become a gap between you two. Now it is 100% true that if she doesn't except your fetish then she didn't love you enough in the first place. true diapers are meant to hold human waste but what can the world say against it? oh you cant buy diapers anymore? no that's not happening the difference between us and other fetishes is that people cant stop ours. You can try to fight it but two years from now your gonna fall into it again.

    Plus the whole being able to masturbate to woman thing. Ok not in the slightest saying you broke this. Just because you have a fetish doesn't mean your not attracted to your baser instincts.. Just means you haven't masturbated to woman without diapers and in 2 months of doing it, it will become just as boring as jerking off to woman in diapers. Your just going through an extra long purge cycle..
  2. Ronbeast's Avatar
    I Agree with what GodOfPonies has said. It sounds like a purge cycle. A week and a half? That's not long at all. There are members here who have purged for 2 or more YEARS.

    The whole "diapers aren't sexy" thing: That's all subjective. I'm in an ongoing relationship with a girl who doesn't mind me wearing a diaper during "bedroom time". It all depends on what your partner likes. My girlfriend are both very strange and that is why we have been so compatible for the last 2 years.

    And the masturbating to women thing: I'm sure that every straight guy that is into this fetish has done that at some point. I think you're just going through a purge cycle and that the urges will likely return at some point.

    -Ron
  3. Point's Avatar
    Well I'm happy for you at least. I just hope that if you do find yourself coming back to it that you don't feel disappointed and accept yourself for who you are. I've never had a problem coming to grips with this but I can see why someone else might; if you're really free of it and you don't want it, then congrats! If you're just in denial though you should consider doing some soul-searching before hating yourself for having a fetish that you never asked for.
  4. TenSwords's Avatar
    I honestly think it's gone, guys. If it isn't truly gone, then it's definitely going to be ignored for some time or something, buried deep in my subconscious. I COULDN'T have just induced a long purge cycle, there's no way!

    You don't understand, I could never even begin to masturbate to women without diapers involved. Now, when I think of something like that, or even wearing, I'm not turned on at all. Zero.

    Surely that isn't the purge cycle, this just doesn't match the description! This wasn't a voluntary "I'm going to stop wearing" deal either. I have high doubts it will come back or spring into action again.

    I think I may have just matured sexually all of a sudden or something. I'm not even trying to repress anything, it just doesn't come to me (the urge to wear came to me on almost a daily basis too). Whenever I would masturbate to diapers, I would always think of having sex with some attractive girl I knew from school as I climaxed, so maybe that played into it.

    I don't know. All I know is that I'm so happy that it's gone, or is being repressed right now. Happier than I've been in a while as far as this goes. I could never accept myself for it, and I never really will. I don't consider it to be a part of me whatsoever, and I treat it like it's a mental illness (minus the negative connotation of the term for the most part).
  5. Point's Avatar
    Hmm, well, don't fly too close to the sun.
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