Don't piss me off. (2/5/08)
by, 05-Feb-2008 at 20:00 (843 Views)
It was the weekend, and I stood outside of our local Ruby Tuesday, smoking a cigarette well away from the door. In Maryland, the indoor smoking ban eliminated all smoking sections from any indoor bar, restaurant, or diner, requiring that those who smoke go outside. I had no problem adhering. I lit my cigarette, and the door opened. A middle-aged blonde-haired woman with seven -- count them, seven -- young daughters of ascending ages trotting like little ducklings behind her. She passes by me, and I kindly smile.
Woman: "Looks like you have to smoke outside, huh?" (She sounded jovial, friendly.)
Rance: "Yup. People don't have much tolerance."
Woman: "Life's a bitch, isn't it, huh? Can't smoke inside anymore. Hmph." (She's passing by me now with her children. There is a hint of sarcasm in her voice.)
Rance: "That's the way it goes."
Woman: (She's walking further away until she and her children are about ten feet away, and then she turns around and says, with choice words...) "I'm glad, because that means I can go out without needing to worry about coming home smelling like smoke from you disgusting people."
Cue Rance's burning sarcasm. This is my adrenaline: I might not be able to fight, but I have no problem wielding words.
Rance: "Oh! Hey!" (I laugh.) "You know what's great about me being a smoker? It's better than not knowing how to keep my thighs closed shut."
The woman took the time of an entire cigarette to load her whole trail of children into her car, but she didn't say a word back to me. When I'm adhering to the law, whether I believe it ridiculous or not, it's not your high-and-mighty place to try to let me know that I'm sub-human -- and if you try, I promise you, I'll have no problem letting my tongue lash out, whether or not your snot-nosed little children are right next to you.
Maybe they'll grow up not being as much of a bitch as their mother.