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Help with sex...

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I posted this in the diaper talk section in response to the idea of "Wanting incontinence"
But this is a bit of a problem to me.

Not to be too graphic, but as someone who has just gotten married I can share a rather sad side to IC. I was a virgin so I had no prior experience but everyone told me, "Oh you will be like a bottle rocket. You will stick it in and BAM" I was surprised to find out that I lasted a lot longer than that.... too long. My wife still does not feel much and it is made harder by the fact that it is difficult to keep an erection. I always pictured sex being an amazing, thrilling experience. Now it is a sad state of feeling that I am not pleasing my wife. I am going to look into help with my doctor, possibly viagra. This is due to IC, so you might want to think about which route you desire, incontinence or subpar sex.

For those who have healthy sexual lives, have you experienced this? How do you cope?


  1. Maxx's Avatar
    Can't help with the erection part, but her most sensitive parts aren't that hard to reach and don't require a "Big Johnson". In point of fact, they don't require a Johnson at all. (Well, not strictly true, there are some internal hot spots, but getting her off via internal stimulation is kinda hit or miss even if you know what you're doing.....) Assuming that she's wired normally, you should be able to bring her off whether you're "up" or not. Use your imagination, ask her, or consult a lesbian support group for assistance.

    Hopefully this isn't to graphic for the venue.
  2. irataliw's Avatar
    Thank you so much for the advice. She has been raised her whole life that touching down there is wrong, so she is sort of hard wired and trying to change.
  3. pajamakitten's Avatar
    Sounds like she needs help too. If she is resistant to you touching her genitals then she is never going to be able to relax and orgasm which is just as important as you being able to stimulate the right areas. Just keep trying and trying (make sure you're both in the mood though, otherwise it won't be as enjoyable as it can be) and eventually you'll find what works for you and build up from there, you're both newly weds and both new to sex so don't expect it to be amazing the first time or even the next few times, it's a learning curve for the both of you and hopefully you'll eventually have a much better sex life.
  4. Maxx's Avatar
    Becoming "cleverly adept at languages" helps.

    You may also find that the process of pleasing her makes your little friend jealous enough that he becomes eager to participate......
  5. Cottontail's Avatar
    One's "first time" is almost always heavily burdened with extreme anticipation, ultra-high expectation, inexperience, and the simple fact that males are much more easily stimulated by intercourse than females are. Whatever you do, do not try to extrapolate from this single experience any sense of what lovemaking with your spouse is destined to become. It will take a little time, with or without the physical complications of IC.

    I didn't wait to have sex. Admittedly, it was all I could think about when I started dating back in school. I had only the scant few years of puberty to build up my anticipation and expectations--nothing like waiting until marriage! Still, I was more nervous than I'd ever been in my life, and that first time was... terrible. Truly. It was a textbook example of "guy finishes way before girl and feels like a failure." I was so disappointed. Fortunately, when one has found the right first--possibly only--partner, as I'm sure you have, one has time to practice. So take it! And don't feel ashamed. Men are born knowing how to please themselves. Pleasing others is a learned thing, and as you're just getting started, there will be ups and downs. So to speak.
    Updated 28-Jan-2012 at 04:57 by Cottontail - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.