Recalling being caught
by, 23-Nov-2011 at 07:13 (592 Views)
I'm here at my dads house for thanksgiving break. And I can't help but think he remembers the incident from 4 years ago. As I sit here thinking of ways he could read my history and see me on ADISC (although I'm on my iTouch and using his wifi..paranoia at its best!) the thoughts of the past start taking over. I was about 14, or late 13, and I decided to take my dads laptop for the night. I signed onto AIM, and quickly began talking to my brother (my really good friend who has babied me since the age of 13..). He babied me as usual, and all was well. I planned on signing off afterward and deleting my history, no big deal. But then, to my surprise, I forgot his charger and the laptop turned off mid-chat. Being inexperienced with laptops, I assumed that it simply turned off and would sign me off automatically..but to my dismay, it simply snoozed. It didn't power off. I fell asleep thinking nothing of it. I woke up to the laptop missing, and walked into the kitchen, where my dad sat at the table staring at me. "I read you and your friends little conversation last night...the computer was just asleep. It didn't turn off. As soon as I turned it on it was the first thing that popped up." I was silent. I didn't know what to say other than "Oh..yeah.." while I turned back and hid back in my room. It was a nightmare! To this day I know he has satisfaction knowing my little secret, because that's just the man he is. He constantly teases me, saying I'm a baby in front of the family. At a party two years ago, I was going to refill my nieces sippy cup and he stated "Go ahead! Drink from it!". I wish I weren't so uncomfortable with this, but I am.
Despite what he thinks, though, I'm growing more and more accepting toward my babyside by the day. I'm proud of being an AB..I would be living a lie if I chose to ignore my urge to be a baby. So, as I lay here tonight recalling all of the times my father made fun of me, I can't help but smile. I am who I am. I love who I am. People can say and think what they want...but they will never change me.