by, 09-Oct-2011 at 03:06 (553 Views)
... I love you
That's right, I love you Each and every one of you - irrespective of your oddities, deformities and perversions
Not like... Romantic love, no... But certainly like, the way you love next door's pet, y'know?
To love you all romantically would involve an awful lot of dinners ... And an awful lot of sex...! Though, perhaps not so much with some of you... Hm... Perhaps my mighty penis could cope after all...
Anyway, if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it - if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!!
If, like me however, you're actually unhappy, then... Well... I've got nothing. No answer for you really, except sit around feeling down, and overanalyse every single thing in your life. It probably won't fix anything, but it'll waste some time and you'll be that little bit closer to dying Which, I'll be honest, gave me comfort a couple of times the other day. So you never know...!
In other news, though, I have concluded that Lady Gaga's feet must look like a bricklayer's knuckle.
Furthermore, I am taking a stand. This is identical to the concept of 'taking a walk' except far more pleasurable as you don't actually move anywhere. A win-win activity, I think you'll agree.
It is at this point, I insist... Nay, I urge.. Nay! I plead with(!)... you, to reciprocate below ('give back', for those who struggle with big words) the love I have shown you.
And whilst you busy yourselves with that menial task, I will away to find a method of making my eyes close and stay so.