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Golden rule in relationships

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My fiance comes from a big family.... a massive family. For our wedding she has well over 150 of JUST her family. I have a small family, incredibly small, so I have a few relationships outside of my nuclear family that are just as dear to me. I have three godbrothers (Their parents are my godparents). For all intents and purposes to me they are just as much my brothers as my blood brothers. My fiance could not understand why I was equating one of their wives with my little brother's fiance. This led to a big fight. Like very big.

Keep in mind. My fiance and I are not explosive people. We get quiet when we are angry. She got out of my car at her house and went inside without so much as a word. I drove off, steamed. I came to my office and my secretary could tell I was peeved. She said to me, "Don't let it get to you." without me ever saying my fiance and I were in the middle of a fight.

After about an hour we both called one another to talk. Through explanations we both explained our positions and came away understanding the other's feelings.

The golden rule I speak of, come from the bible Do not let the sun set on your anger. Otherwise it becomes increasingly difficult to say you are sorry, and worse, those angry feelings will deepen and poison your relationship. This is true for any relationship, but especially for husband and wife. We both agreed when we got engaged to always abide by this rule. No matter how long it takes, we HAVE to have a resolution to our argument before we go to bed.

Have any of you ever had a day where living by that rule saved a friendship or deeper relationship?


  1. Maxx's Avatar
    Slightly off topic, I've never understood the big wedding concept. Seems like an awful lot of stress and expense for a one day party.

    Maybe the original intent was a premarriage test for couples to see if they could handle money and family stresses.

    Disclosure: I did the county courthouse with her mom and brother as witnesses. Told my parents about it the next day. Their response: "Yeah, we figured something like that was going to happen"

    On topic, I'm not so sure. My wife is dyslexic (but doesn't believe it......). On a good day, it can be hard to figure out what she's trying to say. It gets worse when she's angry and irrational. Sometimes its better to let it all cool off and start over the next day. I guess it depends on the people involved and the time pressures of the specific decision. - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.