Recounting My AB History #3
by, 21-Aug-2011 at 05:13 (271 Views)
This will be the last post in this segment. For the other two entries check my blog. The events after this post are explained briefly in my intro blog post...if you were wondering.
So now we're up to 2006. I've been living in Colorado for three years at this point in time with my roommate, and his girlfriend had recently moved in with us. I was hitting the internet pretty hard looking for an AB girl that I could be a Daddy to. I know what you're thinking, what happened between 2002 and 2006 that made me switch from wanting to be a baby to wanting to be a Daddy? Well, the internet happened my friends.
I'd been reading more and more stories on the internet about girls and women progressively becoming AB's and being taken care of by a Daddy. The more I read, the more I thought how great it would be to have something like that of my own, not thinking that there was a possibility that I wasn't cut out to be a Daddy to someone. But whatever, I was on the hunt, and while I'd had a few close calls, I'd yet to find the right girl for me.
This is where K comes in (her name wasn't just a letter, but out of respect I'll just call her K). I met K on an AB community site and we'd hit it off. We started doing the Instant Messenger thing, then moved to phone calls, and sent each other photos so we knew who we were talking to. This whole thing went on for a few months until we started making plans to meet in person. We eventually decided that she would come visit me in Colorado and would drive herself out and stay with me for the weekend.
Now up to this point I'd never had human contact with someone that liked diapers or was an AB, and I think my excitement kept me from actually thinking about the full gravity of the situation. So, when K finally arrived and I met her outside my apartment as she pulled up, the reality of what was about to go down hit me and I was suddenly struck with an almost paralyzing fear that my roommates were going to find out that K was an AB and think that both her and I were freaks. So it was that I had failed before even starting.
I know now that being afraid of what they thought about me and K was stupid, but at the time I was totally ready to believe that if they found out it would be the end of my world as I had come to know it. We made it up to my room without incident and got our hugs and formal introductions out of the way before we got into the AB/Daddy thing.
I had a big walk in closet in my room and used that as the diaper changing area, and though it was pretty much a sure thing that the sound wouldn't be heard in the living room I still tried to be as quiet as possible with it. We only ended up leaving my room a few times that weekend, we went to the zoo and out to dinner, but the majority of the time was spent in my room with her coloring or us watching a movie or something.
When we went to the zoo I knew that she wanted to go with a diaper on, but I asked her to decide if she wanted to or not, and she decided not to. I'm sure she decided that because she was feeling uncomfortable with how different I was acting from all the conversations we'd had on the phone and online. When we'd talked on the phone and stuff I'd been able to say the right things, the things I wanted to happen and the things she wanted to hear, but when faced with the reality of everything all of that went away and I was left feeling awkward and unable to perform like a Daddy should.
Things got worse when she started feeling like I didn't like her because I wasn't having sex with her. I don't feel right doing things like that when I'm in little mode, and I felt even more uncomfortable with it since she was the one in little mode. Something about it just seemed...unsavory to me, so I didn't do it. She cried and felt like she wasn't good enough and no matter what I told her or how much I apologized she wouldn't hear any of it.
I rode out the rest of her stay with her being upset with me, and managed to smooth things out between us by apologizing to her again and explaining that I was sorry for not being the Daddy that she deserved and that I never meant to hurt her feelings or make her unhappy. She cheered up after that and after she got back home she called me and we made amends. I told her that I knew I wasn't a Daddy and wished that I'd been a baby with her so we could have been AB friends. We lost touch a few months after that, but my Mommy now talks with her online and she's doing fine and is happy that I'm happy.
Thus concludes my AB history, now I'm living my AB life and am happier than I ever have been. I am glad that I have experiences in my past that helped me to understand who I am and provide me with stories to share with you all so that perhaps you can get some perspective to help you through some stuff. *shrug* Maybe it's just something to read when you're bored, but hopefully it's at least a little bit helpful. Thanks for reading.