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Knight Night's

How Does Friendship On The Internet Work?

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That of course is a rhetorical question. I know that friendship on the internet works no differently than friendship in real life, but how is one to know if the friendship they believe they have is seen the same by the other party? Allow me to elaborate. I'm going to use MrMcAwesome as the other party in this scenario simply because he's likely to read this and if he posts with something serious it may help me with my point.

So I have never met MrMcAwesome. We know nothing about one another other than what we've read in bios or blogs. We have posts and comments that allow for a laid back exchange of thoughts and words so we get to know one another's personality a bit better. Now, this is the part where the question comes in.

Do those individual things add up to a friendship? I would be inclined to say yes. I find his posts and comments to be funny and intelligent, and I get glimmers of similarity when I compare his sense of humor to mine. He may think differently though, and then we come back to the question again.

I'd be willing to bet if I sent friend requests to every member on this forum I would end up with Mods, overly nice people that have no idea who I am or what I'm like but accepted because they are nice, and maybe a handful of people that actually are happy to accept because they were too shy to offer friendship first in my friend box.

As it stands right now I have three friends. MrMcAwesome, who we discussed already. Icey, who is exceedingly nice and who I had some interaction with on another forum. And BooBooBear109, who I'm sure added me because she felt I was nice when I welcomed her to the forum. I am grateful to have those three people as friends, and I hope I don't end up on the cutting room floor if a friend purge occurs.

So, in your estimation, how does friendship work on the internet? Do you make the first move when you find someone interesting, or do go the sneaky route and comment on their blog or quote their posts so you get their attention and hope they make the offer? Is it creepy to do what I just said? Am I still making sense with this post or has my lack of sleep caused my brain to go all noodly?

Comment my friends...or acquaintances...or total strangers. Let me know what you think.

P.S. If anyone reads this and thinks that I'm pandering for more friends you are wrong, this is just something that I was wondering is all. If you want to be my friend, then send a self addressed, stamped envelope to:

Knight's Friend
P.O. Box LV426
Streets Ahead, TX, 82717718

The envelope should also contain money, but I guess that goes without saying.


  1. JayJ's Avatar
    >Do you make the first move when you find someone interesting...

    Yes. It gets things out there. "Hey, you're pretty cool. Want to talk on IM?"
  2. MrMcAwesome's Avatar
    Yay i feel special, in my mind this blog is all about me, and you declaring your undying, heterosexual, plutonic love for me

    I was hoping i might be able to add some insight on this for you, but in truth im as stumped as you. so i guess ill just answer your question dealys and hopefully that will help.

    I have no idea how friendship works on the internet. I dont do either. if someone adds me great, if i see someone interesting i may add them, depends on my mood. and i may go all stalker on you.... kinda like what im doing to you now Knight but in general i dont hav a rule for who i add i just go with the flow. What you said is only creepy to the amish. I dont know i have been trying to respond to this post for ages so nothing is making sense to me now.

    Well thats all i got, wish i had more but i am so socially awkward in real life that theese things enrage and confuse me. If only it was like when we were kids, when all you needed to make friends was a ping pong table.


    Is a cheque for fifty dollars ok?
  3. BabyBeau's Avatar
    I think the thing that people forget with friendship is that it is not binary. It's not just a yes or no thing, and there are degrees of friend. Is the guy you talk to all the time at work a friend? What if you only see him at work and neer interact outside of the office/shop/etc.

    I think that friends on the internet are broken into a few layers. First there is the person you chat with on forums, but that's it. These people are more casual aquintences. Then there are people you call (skype or whatever). The interaction has gone to a more intimate and direct place. You can interact in a more effective way. These people are casual friends.

    I think that a real friend is someone you have to have seen in person. There needs to be that level of interaction. People are ment to form face to face bonds. I'm sure there will be some (or even many) people that disagree, but I think if someone was a true friend, effort would be made to see each other. At least once.
  4. avery's Avatar
    it depends if you're talking about "friends" on your profile page or actual friendships. plenty of people add one another as friends who aren't actually FRIEND-friends. i think it's possible to develop a real friendship on the internet, but it takes more than just reading one another's blogs and forum posts -- two people have to do a lot of communicating directly to one another to form a real friendship, and that tends to happen more easily in im chats or irc or pms or emails. that's the way i see it anyway, but i guess it's probably different for everyone.
  5. irataliw's Avatar
    I believe we have lost the language of the past.
    This is an acquaintance, as in "Pleased to make your acquaintance." I have many acquaintances, many of whom I am fond of. We have similar interests, can talk, but that does not make them my friends. I would not drop everything I am doing for them, I am not planning my vacations around visiting them.

    Friendships, like any real relationships take work, constant communication and exchange of trust. I have made very good friends online, but in forums like this I am very leery of making friends. After all, we use for the most part aliases and avatars. These do not necessarily represent the real person. And I believe in this environment we all prefer a little anonymity
  6. BabyBeau's Avatar
    You want a test to see if someone is a true friend? If they were to ask you to borrow a large sum of money, but couldn't tell you what it was for, would you do it? Assume that you have the funds, and you can tell it's important to them.

    This clearly is not a perfect test, but it gives you an idea. Would you put yourself out for them jsut because they ask? For a good friend, yes. Acquaintance; no.
  7. DementiasKnight's Avatar
    Wow, you all have really good answers. The funny thing is that I agree with all of you to varying degrees. I think "true friendship" is what I would call someone that you talk with face to face or if you met them online you've also met them in person. I'm not sure that "true friendship" by that definition is something you can attain by just talking with someone online.

    Well, thank you all for offering your well thought out theories. I appreciate you dropping by.

    P.S. A check will be fine MMA, but in light of recent events, I've decided to waive your dues for this month. Because that's what friends are for.
  8. MrMcAwesome's Avatar
    Aww, get your coat love, youve pulled :P - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.